Miracles

Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem

Aasiya

Miracles.

Sometimes, the only thing you can do is stop. Stop thinking. Stop contemplating. Stop deliberating. Stop wondering. Just breathe, and believe that miracles really do exist.

Though I was a born cynic, I’ve always believed in them. Of course, it’s what we were taught as we grew up, and what we are meant to believe.

Because from the inception of mankind, Islamic history reminds us of what others may call a coincidence or fantasy: The stick of Musaa (AS). The cool fire for Ibraahim (AS). The ascension of Isaa (AS). The splitting of the moon for Nabi (SAW)…. Just to mention a few.

From the beginning of time, miracles were a proof of what was above and beyond the naked eye. What was greater than everything that we saw, and gave so much of authority to. The strange thing is, even in medicine… And even in science… There are things that even the doctors can’t explain.

Strange things happen. Disease can suddenly fade away. Tumours can go missing. The cancer can disappear. Wounds can heal themselves. It’s unexplained, and it’s rare, but it happens.

The professionals don’t like to believe miracles exist, but they do. They call it misdiagnosis; or something they never saw it in the first place. Something unexpected, or a medical mystery. Any explanation but the truth that there is something greater than their complex theorising. That life is full of vanishing facts, and can change at any given moment, if we just believe.

Things happen. They can’t be explained… We can’t control them… But they do happen.

And that’s of course, where the Greatest Power comes in. Where faith comes in. Where our Deen comes in.
At the end of a day, it’s like this; we take our miracles where we find them. We take the plunge and drink it  in. We grab every one that comes along, because we never know when we will witness it’s ‘illogical’ appearance, once again.

“It’s a miracle,” my mother-in-law was saying, her eyes wide. “And of course we make shukar. But we just wish she would remember.”

I nodded sympathetically, really feeling bad for my in laws. I had finally decided to visit, and it was the first time I had heard the good news of Zaynah waking up.

Of course, I was ecstatic, and despite her expected memory rift, I had full faith that she would recover completely.

“But how are you, sweetheart?” She suddenly said, her worried eyes looking at me sympathetically. I could see that she was genuinely concerned.

I nodded, swallowing hard because I didn’t trust myself to talk. All the emotions that I had been feeling through the recent events were exhausting for me. I just couldn’t seem to stop tearing up.

“Muhammed Zaheer misses you,” she said, frowning slightly as she shook her head sympathetically, and then clicked her tongue in frustration, as if she remembered how he had messed us up.

It was too late though, because my eyes were already welling up with tears. I sniffed loudly, quite embarrassed about my unusually erratic behaviour. It was so unlike me, but the memories kept resurfacing in my mind, almost to taunt me.

I love you.

The three words that were meant to magically fix everything. I knew that Muhammed would pull out that weapon, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hear it. That was why I had made sure that he wasn’t here at the house when I came, to save myself the discomfort once again.

And of course, when he had seen me at the hospital, it wasn’t exactly the perfect opportunity for chit-chat. I couldn’t help but cringe slightly when I rememebered.

“Please,” he had said, his voice dropping to almost a whisper as he almost broke down in front of me. “Just come home.”

I looked back at him as his eyes searched mine, probably looking for a hint of emotion that remained. Of course I wasn’t emotionless. I knew that I wouldn’t leave him behind me completely, but neither was I ready to just let it all go and take the plunge once again. My heart was still a little bruised. My emotions were still very raw.

“I need space,” I said, looking away momentarily. His face immediately fell.

And then, of course, he insisted that I stay at the hotel down the road, probably so he could keep tabs on my whereabouts. I knew all about Mo’s ulterior motives by now, and I was aware that he was well hooked up. There was nowhere in Pretoria that I could be without him having a contact in the vicinity.

I acceded to his request, because after all, I was still married to him. The thought of asking for the thing that would break us completely haunted me. Umar had advised me to try and move forward, no matter how hard it was, and my mind was slightly convinced. I just didn’t know how much of the past I could forget.

And then, of course, as the days passed by, I focussed on other things that were more important. Seeing Zaynah was a relief in some ways, but extremely emotional in others. Seeing her attached to all those machines, with pipes through her nose and mouth, was an eyesore. I wasn’t sure how Waseem could bear it, but I supposed though I was strong emotionally, certain things just freaked me out.

I had no idea that after a week, Zaynah would surprise us all and wake up from her comatose state. Of course, everyone was excited, but the cloud still loomed above.

“Are you staying for lunch?”

My mother-in-laws voice cut through my thoughts, reminding me that I needed to get going.

I shook my head at her, hastily wiping my tears away. My mother-in-law took out a few prepped dishes, and looked at me hopefully once again. She wasn’t exactly the cooking type, but I knew that she tried to at least add her personal touches to the dishes that she asked the cook to make. Muhammed would always complain, even though she tried.

“He won’t be here,” she said, and I knew who she was talking about.

I nodded, trying to explain to her that I really didn’t feel like eating. Everything that happened so far just made me feel like I was drowning.

Besides, I had an appointment that Yusuf’s wife had made for me, with someone her sister-in-law knew. Someone good. Although I tried to tell her that I wasn’t interested in trying for a baby again as yet, she insisted that I had to go. I supposed it was worth a shot if there was any hope for me, and I didn’t want to break her heart by refusing.

I hugged my mother-in-law, even though we didn’t exactly have that kind of relationship before. I could see she needed it, and I really wished that I could make her feel better. With Ziyaad’s marriage also falling apart, I’m sure she was wondering what else was going to go wrong. Of course, it’s hard to explain to some people that everything has goodness in it. Even though we wanted everything to be perfect always, sometimes you just needed to assure people that tests and tribulations are merely a way and means of us gaining closeness to Allah. Merely a cleansing for us.

My mother-in-law hugged me back firmly, and I could feel the emotion in her short breaths. Of course, we’ve had our minor fall-outs in the past, but at this moment, I knew it wasn’t important. There were greater things that needed conquering right now, and I knew it could be done, a step at a time. It was time for our family to build up our faith once again. Time for a spiritual make-over.

I left promptly, knowing that I needed to focus on something else. Despite everything, I was glad that this appointment was a small diversion. Maybe I needed to get some hope. Maybe they would have some miraculous treatment that they have just discovered.

I sighed as I entered the slightly overdone waiting rooms, leaving my name at reception, and looking around as I went to sit at a nearby chair. Many women were there with their partners, and though I felt slightly odd, I held my head up, just hoping I wouldn’t meet anyone I know.

There were plenty of Muslim ladies, and though one looked vaguely familiar, I knew there was no direct connection. I finally got up as they called my name, walking as swiftly on my new heels as I could.

Retail therapy. I had kind of buried my sorrows in Mo’s credit card, but I knew that he wouldn’t mind. I mean, of course, I had despised him at the time, but now I actually found myself wishing that he was there with me as I sat and waited at the table. Fortunately,  my fears immediately eased as the doctor came into view. He was so easy-going, that I kind of forgot that he was the first male doctor I had actually consulted with in recent years. It had been a rule for me, but good references and extreme situations had told ne that maybe Allah can put shifaa through him.

He quickly sent me to another room for a few in-house tests, and I took my phone out after, wondering if I should contact my husband so we could talk. Maybe we just both needed some closure on the whole issue. Maybe we needed to decide how to move forward.

I typed out the message as I waited for the nurse to come back and tell me I could leave, but she gestured for me to wait in another room for the doctor.

I was just slightly confused, but sat patiently, wondering if I should just rather call Mo. All sorts of thoughts of what the outcome of our marriage would be plagued me, and I forced myself to shove the thoughts out of my mind as the doctor came into view once again.

I needed to focus on what he was saying. Maybe, by some miracle, he would have a good prognosis. Maybe he could give me a little hope.

He asked a few more questions that I was sure he had asked me before, and I honestly wondered why this man was wasting my time again. I shifted slightly uncomfortably in my seat as he looked down at the paper once again, thinking that he was behaving slightly strangely. I just hoped that I didn’t have another problem on my hands.

I inwardly sighed, mentally preparing myself for the worst.

“I’m sorry,” he said, lookong easily at my frightful expression. He was probably used to scaring patients. “I just needed to double check. We need to know if you’re at risk for complications or not.”

At risk? 

I looked at him, even more confused.

“Doctor, what’s going on?” I said, my voice slightly shaky. “Is there nothing we can do?”

He smiled again, and I held my breath.

“There’s nothing that we need to do,” he said, raising his eyebrows at me.

I looked at him, frowning deeply. What did he mean?

I knew that strange things happen. Disease can suddenly fade away. Tumors can go missing. Cancer can disappear. Wounds can heal themselves.

It’s unexplained, and it’s rare, but it happens.

The professionals don’t like to believe miracles exist, but they do. They call it misdiagnosis; or something they never saw it in the first place. Something unexpected, or a medical mystery. Any explanation but the truth that there’s something greater than their complex diagnoses. That life is full of vanishing facts, and can change at any given moment, if we just believe.

Things happen. They can’t be explained… We can’t control them… But they do happen.

And that’s of course, where the Greatest Power comes in. Where faith comes in. Where our Deen comes in. Where we remember Who truly controls everything that happens.

Sometimes, the only thing you can do is stop. Stop thinking. Stop contemplating. Stop deliberating. Stop wondering. Just breathe, and believe that miracles really do exist.

“Ma’am,” he finally said breezily, putting his folder down on the desk. “I’ve seen your records, and from what you’ve told me, I’m sure this is nothing short of a miracle. Congratulations. You’re having a baby.”

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Lots of Durood on thus Jumuah morning. I don’t usually post on a Friday but I’ve been meaning to post this for two days and it’s been a bit crazy. Request for Duaas.

Don’t forget our Super Sunnahs!

Beautiful Sunnah: 5 Sunnah in one action. SubhaanAllah!

The Sunnah way of drinking water:

1. Drink with the right hand. 
2. Drink whilst sitting
3. Say Bismillah before and Alhumdulillah after
4. Look into the glass when sipping
5. After 3 sips of drinking water, say Alhudulillah Wasshukru Lillah.

There are many bodily benefits to these Sunnah as well. Let’s try and practise regularly!

We will be doing more eating and drinking Sunnahs Insha Allah.

#RevivetheSunnahofEating

#RevivetheSunnahofDrinking

#Revive theSunnahofSpeakingGood

#RevivetheSunnahofSmiling

#RevivetheSunnahofMiswaak

#RevivetheSunnahofDu’aas

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• Baby
• Hope
• Islam
• Miracles
• Power
• Pregnancy