When Destiny Awaits

Note: Dear readers, this one’s a really  long post and I think I’m due for a short break, so please bear with me as I may need a little extra time off before the next post. 🌸

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Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem

Khawlah

I’d like to think that everyone has that someone special in their life that they can call their ‘person’.

Some call it destiny. Some say it’s fate. The fact is that, when you know, you know. Whether it’s love at first sight or an instant connection with a friend, sometimes we just fit together like puzzle pieces that have been waiting for their perfect match.

And then, just like that, she knows you, to an almost creepy degree, better than anyone else. A person who sees your soul, inside and out. Who can call with a guaranteed no-hang-ups rule, whether you are ecstatic to a giddy degree or at your lowest point and just cannot find your way back up. A person who, despite everything, still stuck by,  because they know that no matter what… this ‘bff ‘kind of relationship is not defined by circumstantial things like being in school together, or going through a phase of life where you’re similar… but this person sticks by forever because that thing where you just get each other for infinity… is totally next level.

And of course, if anyone had to ask me how I chose my ‘person’, I knew that there was no other explanation besides the inspiration that I led my life by.

When I first saw Nusaybah, of course, I knew that she was special. She had that determined look in her eyes that just intrigued me so… and a distinct aura of hijaabi beauty, that I just could not fathom. Some beauty goes beyond flawless skin and perfect features. Some beauty just radiates from within.

Nusaybah, in all her amazement, resembled exactly what the Sahaabiya she was name after did. Faith, embodiment and unprecedented courage. She was extraordinary to no limits, and of course, I knew that when I looked at her, she perfectly ticked every box that my beloved Prophet (SAW) had stipulated for the most treasured friend.

Your best friend is the one who: seeing him reminds you of Allah, speaking to him increases your knowledge, and his actions remind you of the hereafter.” (Al-Muhasibi)

And of course, since I loved this girlfriend of mine so much, the thought that anything I could do would push her away, literally haunted me every night. And so of course, when Adam had so very genuinely asked me if I would let my guard down and open my heart to a new chapter of our lives… I knew that nothing could go further if I didn’t speak to my most beloved friend and of course, seek her approval.

Despite her being my ‘person’, things had been awkward since the whole revelation of the scandal, and even though we were still besties, I felt like the rift between us was going to become a big barrier if we didn’t nip it in the bud and talk it all out. Also, with Ahmed pushing me to make a quick decision regarding the Nikah date… I knew that time was of the essence.

I trudged along as I walked, barely noticing the streaks of sunlight smiling at me through the amazing jacaranda trees that towered above. My mood was a bit sombre as I walked down the path that led to Nusaybahs door, and I knocked loudly, feeling my nerves dwindling as I waited for my friend.

I could hear a few sounds from inside, and a few seconds later, Nusaybah yanked the door open with a scarf loosely draped around her head and slippers on. I grinned, despite the emotion that riddled my thoughts. Seeing her just made it all okay again, and just because we had that kind of unexplained bond, I knew the feeling was mutual.

“Hey you,” she smiled, greeting me affectionately with salaam as she pulled me into a warm embrace. I smiled back at her as I breathed on her familiar scent, so glad that there was no awkwardness that stood between.

“I was thinking of you this morning.”

I waited for her to elaborate as we walked to her room, with her little brother following behind us and talking non-stop about the holiday they had been on a week before.

“So,” I  said, smiling at her whilst she closed the door and we finally had some privacy. Her eyes were dancing, and her smile was excited.

“Tell me you don’t know?”

I frowned. What was she on about?

“Khawlah, honestly!” She said, slapping her palm to her forehead. “Sometimes I feel like you live in another world. Don’t you ever use technology? Facebook? Instagram?”

Of course I knew about social media but I didn’t have an accounts to explore them with. Besides, except for browsing for the odd book on the net of ordering my next favourite novel, I felt technology was a waste of time. I would much prefer reading a beneficial book.

“Nus, you know I don’t care much about that stuff,” I said blandly.

”Well this time it’s important!” She almost shrieked.

Okay. I got her. But what on earth was giving her such a hype?!

She took a deep breath.

“First of all Khawlah,” she said, her voice a little softer. “I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you about Hannah’s stunt…”

I expected the apology, but shrugged it off as she insisted on explaining. And then of course, she went on to tell me that after feeling so guilty and like she let me down, she had made it her duty to track Hannah down and find her – because she had done an amazingly good disappearing job during the last two weeks. Basically, the end result was a post that very morning from Hannah’s Facebook profile that went viral… and of course, everyone now knew that Hannah was a huge phony who was using my name as some sort of evil deception.

Honestly, the relief that I felt at that moment was just overwhelming. It was like a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders. Like rainbows and sunshine and all the rest… I wanted to hug my friend, but I was so crazily intrigued… and of course, super curious.

How on earth did she do it? Hannah was such a hard nut to crack and I really could not imagine anyone getting through to her. What on earth did she tell her to prompt this revelation?

“But… how?” I stammered, my eyes wide as Nusaybah continued with her explanation.

“Oh, a few threats here and there,” she said dismissively, with an evil smirk. “When you deal with people like Hannah, you have to play hard. Remember that she got her friends into trouble last year? I knew what Hannah was capable of and I figured it out… it was exam time and there was some change up with exam papers. Of course I wasn’t going to let that girl win. I knew that if I exposed her, she would probably be expelled, and I can’t let a traitor rest. All that time in the library actually paid off… I could do my own investigation and we got some payback for all the havoc she caused. You have to see it to believe it, Khawlah… People are going crazy on her!”

I wanted to giggle but I was too edgy to even breathe. Nusaybah really had a fierce streak to her that I had no idea about. Modestly feisty, yet still so admirable.

Of course, how could I have not guessed? Like a warrior who was decisive and incredibly intelligent in her strategies… she had a ruthless sense of self-preservation that was not only limited to herself, but extended to her loved ones as well.

And of course, as I watched her, I couldn’t help but picture her as I had when I first met her.

In the heat of a raging battle, came a moment of pure trepidation. Their hearts were in their mouths and their lives were at stake… but they attempted with every ounce of themselves, to up their defence as the enemy approached, from every side.

But, alas… it was all to no avail. The Muslims were ambushed from behind, and indeed… they feared that this would bring their fate.

And then, like a sweeping eagle, her presence came, almost from nowhere… and there she was.

She knew she couldn’t resist, because that love that the most honoured of people have for the Best of the Best (SAW), was beyond the world itself. Nusaybah (RA) plunged into the battlefield, because she knew there was no way she could let the enemy overpower. She couldn’t let her lot down. Seeing her beloved Messenger (SAW) immensely threatened, she knew she would not bear it if he was slain.

And how she edged on, amidst open gashes and dripping wounds…. The Muslim soldiers were awestruck. They were simply astounded by the skill of this woman with a sword, who persevered valiantly throughout the attack of her enemy. They family fought on with intese determination, inspired greater heights of heroism, and renewed all vigour. The Prophet (SAW) said that in whichever direction he looked, he saw Nusaybah (RA) fighting and defending him.

She sustained at least 12 major wounds on the battlefield, one which took a year to heal. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said to her: 

‘From where can anyone get courage like you, O Umm ‘Umarah?’

Of course, nothing can compare to the determination of a woman.  At a time when the Muslims had respect, love, and honour, those women who had such passion, that nothing could hinder them. It was a fierce determination that made the best of companions. The nature of a woman with a raging love in her heart brought on another dimension completely.

Here I was, all this time, thinking that some superhero would be the one to get me out of this… but surprise, surprise… I, for one, should have known better. Girl power has no comparison.

Nusaybah grinned at me as I looked at her in awe and shook my head. She opened her laptop to show me the comments section… and I was shocked, 1056 comments. Really, people had so much of time…

For the first time in my life, I realized the extent of social media in the modern world. How a simple post can just fire up a whole controversy. There was really no getting away from it, yet I was so glad that I had remained oblivious all this time.

“Yikes,” was all I could say, as I studied various comments from girls at school, obviously outraged by the scandal. There were even guys that I barely knew who had commented, and I felt quite concerned that this entire escapade had caused such a riot. It was shocking.

I exhaled, obviously relieved about the result, and wondering if Adam knew about this. Well, of course he would… I actually wondered if he had also had something to do wit it…

And then, something caught me eye.

“Even when you try and change it, the beauty of truth always shines through. Beauty is about knowing and accepting who you are. That girl who you hurt and broke , she’s beautiful not only for the way she looks. She’s beautiful, right down to her very soul.”

Woah.

I breathed out now, a little overwhelmed by emotion. Someone said that about me? Someone thought that about me? A girl who I probably barely even knew in school had seen something so deep, that it stood out for her so much, that she was inspired to write this…

Its never about your physical being. What was not important is how we treat people… how we act… how we react, especially when tested in way that could possibly break your spirit. Beautiful character was the most treasured beauty of all.

I could see Nusayabah looking at me as we both turned away now, knowing that it was enough of the social media. All of this was making me more emotional than I thought… and I really did not expect it…

”Looks like you have some secret admirers, huh?” She said quietly.

I smiled, amidst the torrent that I felt within my chest. My heart had undergone a massive turbulence during the past few weeks, but as I looked at Nusaybah, her courage, positivity and jolly nature was a healing for the most messed up of hearts.

“Talking about secret admirers,” I said, settling my hammering heart and taking the bait. “I had something to ask you.”

Nusaybah looked at me, with slight curiosity, as she plopped on to the bed and turned onto her tummy to eye me out.

“What?”

How did I phrase this? I felt like I was challenging her dreams…

”I wanted to ask about Rubeena’s brother,” I said slightly hesitantly, feeling so awkwardly uncomfortable. “If he had to… errr…”

I was fumbling over my words because I really didn’t want to ask. But what had to be done, had to be done… I wouldn’t be able bear the uncertainty if I didn’t know.

Nusaybah cocked her head to one side and narrowed her eyes. I could almost see the lightbulb come on in her head. Nusaybah was no idiot, and I wanted to kick myself for acting so weird about the whole thing.

She was my best friend. My person. I couldn’t hide anything from her, even if I wanted to. How could I even think of it?

”Khawlah,” she said, pursing her lips.

And then, as if she could barely help it, she smiled, and like unhindered magic, her mouth involuntarily widened and it was like her bursts of laughter were just overflowing as they spilled out of her, before morphing into a fully blown fit of uncontrolled giggles.

And of course, seeing her like that myself, I couldn’t help but alleviate my own nerves with torrents of giggles too, because I knew that the awkwardness was over. And gosh, was I so glad.

“Oh my goodness, Khawlah!” Nusaybah panted, struggling for breath as she tried to overcome the urge to giggle more.

Childhood crushes and teenage dreams… it was all part of growing up, making mistakes and learning through it all. And yes, I knew it had been silly at first, but my hope had always been that at some point, Nusaybah would grow up and either overcome it or find some kind of happy ending… but I just didn’t expect my own feelings to come in between.

The truth was that she was really never serious in any of her little remarks she had made about Adam, and she definitely did not expect anything to come out of it.

“Khawlah,” she said, after her little explanation and all the giggles had died down. “You think I didn’t expect this?”

She was smiling as she said it, but I wasn’t.

”Gosh, Khawlah… when I took you there, I already knew that Rubeena would love you,” she said, so naturally. “The kids too. I mean, how could they not?”

I swallowed, not knowing that all this time… Nusaybah had known all along. Maybe even planned it. I couldn’t help but feel emotional. She was so good-natured. Unbelievably selfless. Excessively rich in character.

“And of course, Adam, sooner or later, he would too…”

I bit my lip, not trusting myself to say anything. I could tell from the look she was wearing that she remembered that day we had first seen him, and all we noticed was biceps and gelled hair. Who would have thought that he would have ever changed? 

I knew what I wanted, but was it really the right thing? Yes, I had humbly asked my Lord to guide me in very step of my new venture.. but how would I ever be really sure?

“Hey,” she said now with a tiny dimpled smile, looking at me with her chin cupped in her hands. “I know you worried about his past, but listen… you have to take the plunge. Everyone’s got sins. Nikah is not meant to be a confession session. Take a chance, ‘coz what Allah has decreed, who are we to challenge? Doesn’t He say when you turn to him and repent, then it’s like whoooossshhh…”

She stretched out her arm instinctively to illustrate something like the wiping of a chalkboard.

“Just like that,” she said with a force, raising her eyebrows. “Everything gets erased, hun. Everything. So who are we to judge?”

I smiled, because of course, Nusaybah was  obviously Divinely sent. An assistance through every thorny patch that I had always hoped would be full of roses. An alleviation to the most turbulent storms, her refreshing showers of inspiration were a mercy from above.

“Hey,” she said, grinning from ear-to-ear now. “Quit the worrying. There’s no getting away from your bestie. I’m warning you- I’m going to be there for everything. Like a creepy stalker, I won’t leave your side. The proposal, the Nikah, even the romantic  dates when you’ll are getting to know each other after being married – I mean, that’s like the cutest thing ever…”

She fake-gagged and rolled her eyes as she said it and winked at me.

I wanted to laugh and cry all at the same time. There was still so much to think about… so much to still decide. I was still so young, and there was so much going on… I felt in over my head. I knew I wouldn’t stay with him, and he did tell me he’s willing to wait, but would he really wait for me to till I finish school?

Call me presumptions… but I never thought I’d be the type to get married early. What I wanted was something different. And yes, getting married at a young age is difficult and challenging and sets us up for unique obstacles, but I wanted to be there to watch my husband grow too. I didn’t want to see him, if I knew it wouldn’t be right. Pure. I didn’t want to risk hurting our future through anything detrimental, because I wanted it to be special, and I knew it could be so great.

And as Nusaybah looked at me, I knew exactly what she had on her mind. I was tough, yes. A warrior, always. I was supposed to be the strong one here… but Nusaybah…

She was beyond even that. She had shown the strength of a woman who held so much of conviction in her heart, because she knew what to tell me to get me to do the best thing for my Deen.

Was I just going to be like everyone else and do what everyone else does…? To move through the motions of a relationship and remain undecided… with no direction, like so many girls we knew.

And yes, I didn’t know much about feelings. I didn’t even know about love.  But what I did know was that when it came to matters of the heart, we seldom have much control. We don’t reason what we feel; we just feel. And what I felt… I could barely explain.

Taqdeer. Destiny. Fate.

It was what it was. It shall be what it shall be. That is how it will end.

The ties that bind us are impossible to explain, but some ties… some ties are just meant to be. Some people just speak to our souls. They spark a connection that not even time, distance or logic can explain.

All I knew was this; I wanted to be right there. To grow together. Not at at arms length. Not even a short distance away. Marriage… Nikah… that sacred union… was something so intense and intimate that it knew no barriers. Through loss and through love… through sickness, senility, and through everything that we conquered along life’s way… I didn’t want to miss out. The first grey hair, the moment we would hit our thirties… the wrinkles, changing bodies and the ups and downs that come with being through the tough times together too…

The Maker of my unruly heart knew me better than anyone else, and of course, He knew why He placed certain people in our paths. Whether it be for a day, a month, or just a season… You would be surprised as to what is waiting to walk in to your life, once you learn to stop running. But once you stop, you begin to feel more. You begin to understand, what is meant to be and what is meant to run away…. 

In retrospect, when I looked back, how Allah had planned my journey with Adam so perfectly, I couldn’t even divulge. Light upon light, that shone through after the overwhelming darkness, was more perfect than I could imagine. His was the hope that had freed us, after we had been burdened for so long. With so much that had held us back in the past, Adam had an unbelievable way that snuck into every heart, and stayed there, even long after he was gone.

All I could say about back then was than Taqdeer (destiny) had a beautiful way of revealing itself, and it’s unfolding, though it broke my heart many times, finally opened it’s very doors. Sometimes you have to hurt, to heal. Sometimes the cure for the pain, is in the pain itself.

It was time for me to give my final answer, and I couldn’t think of any better  time to do it than right now….

And of course, just as the knocking sounded on Nusaybah’s room door… I already knew that destiny was waiting just outside…

This is my story. And this is just the beginning.

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Getting married or making Nikah young… Any thoughts? 

Always love to hear the rambles of the readers!

Much Love,

A 🌸

Don’t forget our mission Sunnah revival! 

The beautiful character of Nabi (SAW).

The Prophet  said:

“He who believes in Allah and the Hereafter, if he witnesses any matter he should talk in good terms about it or keep quiet.” [Muslim]

We often find ourselves in situations where we sit and talk about things that do not concern us. We waste precious minutes, even hours, just by talking about matters that will not increase us in knowledge, character or anything for that matter.

When speaking ill of a person or situation, the conversation becomes elongated, sadly due to the desire to gossip. The beauty of this particular Sunnah is that it will help you save time and reduce the amount of energy used to contemplate over irrelevant matters being discussed.

Let’s revive this Sunnah InshaAllah, because it is through our Akhlaaq that people can see the light of Islam and beauty of Deen.

How easy to practise!

#revivetheSunnahofAkhlaaq

 

#missionsunnahrevival 

#revivetheSunnahofMiswaak

#revivetheSunnahofeating

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