When Destiny Awaits

Note: Dear readers, this one’s a really  long post and I think I’m due for a short break, so please bear with me as I may need a little extra time off before the next post. 🌸

Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem


I’d like to think that everyone has that someone special in their life that they can call their ‘person’.

Some call it destiny. Some say it’s fate. The fact is that, when you know, you know. Whether it’s love at first sight or an instant connection with a friend, sometimes we just fit together like puzzle pieces that have been waiting for their perfect match.

And then, just like that, she knows you, to an almost creepy degree, better than anyone else. A person who sees your soul, inside and out. Who can call with a guaranteed no-hang-ups rule, whether you are ecstatic to a giddy degree or at your lowest point and just cannot find your way back up. A person who, despite everything, still stuck by,  because they know that no matter what… this ‘bff ‘kind of relationship is not defined by circumstantial things like being in school together, or going through a phase of life where you’re similar… but this person sticks by forever because that thing where you just get each other for infinity… is totally next level.

And of course, if anyone had to ask me how I chose my ‘person’, I knew that there was no other explanation besides the inspiration that I led my life by.

When I first saw Nusaybah, of course, I knew that she was special. She had that determined look in her eyes that just intrigued me so… and a distinct aura of hijaabi beauty, that I just could not fathom. Some beauty goes beyond flawless skin and perfect features. Some beauty just radiates from within.

Nusaybah, in all her amazement, resembled exactly what the Sahaabiya she was name after did. Faith, embodiment and unprecedented courage. She was extraordinary to no limits, and of course, I knew that when I looked at her, she perfectly ticked every box that my beloved Prophet (SAW) had stipulated for the most treasured friend.

Your best friend is the one who: seeing him reminds you of Allah, speaking to him increases your knowledge, and his actions remind you of the hereafter.” (Al-Muhasibi)

And of course, since I loved this girlfriend of mine so much, the thought that anything I could do would push her away, literally haunted me every night. And so of course, when Adam had so very genuinely asked me if I would let my guard down and open my heart to a new chapter of our lives… I knew that nothing could go further if I didn’t speak to my most beloved friend and of course, seek her approval.

Despite her being my ‘person’, things had been awkward since the whole revelation of the scandal, and even though we were still besties, I felt like the rift between us was going to become a big barrier if we didn’t nip it in the bud and talk it all out. Also, with Ahmed pushing me to make a quick decision regarding the Nikah date… I knew that time was of the essence.

I trudged along as I walked, barely noticing the streaks of sunlight smiling at me through the amazing jacaranda trees that towered above. My mood was a bit sombre as I walked down the path that led to Nusaybahs door, and I knocked loudly, feeling my nerves dwindling as I waited for my friend.

I could hear a few sounds from inside, and a few seconds later, Nusaybah yanked the door open with a scarf loosely draped around her head and slippers on. I grinned, despite the emotion that riddled my thoughts. Seeing her just made it all okay again, and just because we had that kind of unexplained bond, I knew the feeling was mutual.

“Hey you,” she smiled, greeting me affectionately with salaam as she pulled me into a warm embrace. I smiled back at her as I breathed on her familiar scent, so glad that there was no awkwardness that stood between.

“I was thinking of you this morning.”

I waited for her to elaborate as we walked to her room, with her little brother following behind us and talking non-stop about the holiday they had been on a week before.

“So,” I  said, smiling at her whilst she closed the door and we finally had some privacy. Her eyes were dancing, and her smile was excited.

“Tell me you don’t know?”

I frowned. What was she on about?

“Khawlah, honestly!” She said, slapping her palm to her forehead. “Sometimes I feel like you live in another world. Don’t you ever use technology? Facebook? Instagram?”

Of course I knew about social media but I didn’t have an accounts to explore them with. Besides, except for browsing for the odd book on the net of ordering my next favourite novel, I felt technology was a waste of time. I would much prefer reading a beneficial book.

“Nus, you know I don’t care much about that stuff,” I said blandly.

”Well this time it’s important!” She almost shrieked.

Okay. I got her. But what on earth was giving her such a hype?!

She took a deep breath.

“First of all Khawlah,” she said, her voice a little softer. “I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you about Hannah’s stunt…”

I expected the apology, but shrugged it off as she insisted on explaining. And then of course, she went on to tell me that after feeling so guilty and like she let me down, she had made it her duty to track Hannah down and find her – because she had done an amazingly good disappearing job during the last two weeks. Basically, the end result was a post that very morning from Hannah’s Facebook profile that went viral… and of course, everyone now knew that Hannah was a huge phony who was using my name as some sort of evil deception.

Honestly, the relief that I felt at that moment was just overwhelming. It was like a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders. Like rainbows and sunshine and all the rest… I wanted to hug my friend, but I was so crazily intrigued… and of course, super curious.

How on earth did she do it? Hannah was such a hard nut to crack and I really could not imagine anyone getting through to her. What on earth did she tell her to prompt this revelation?

“But… how?” I stammered, my eyes wide as Nusaybah continued with her explanation.

“Oh, a few threats here and there,” she said dismissively, with an evil smirk. “When you deal with people like Hannah, you have to play hard. Remember that she got her friends into trouble last year? I knew what Hannah was capable of and I figured it out… it was exam time and there was some change up with exam papers. Of course I wasn’t going to let that girl win. I knew that if I exposed her, she would probably be expelled, and I can’t let a traitor rest. All that time in the library actually paid off… I could do my own investigation and we got some payback for all the havoc she caused. You have to see it to believe it, Khawlah… People are going crazy on her!”

I wanted to giggle but I was too edgy to even breathe. Nusaybah really had a fierce streak to her that I had no idea about. Modestly feisty, yet still so admirable.

Of course, how could I have not guessed? Like a warrior who was decisive and incredibly intelligent in her strategies… she had a ruthless sense of self-preservation that was not only limited to herself, but extended to her loved ones as well.

And of course, as I watched her, I couldn’t help but picture her as I had when I first met her.

In the heat of a raging battle, came a moment of pure trepidation. Their hearts were in their mouths and their lives were at stake… but they attempted with every ounce of themselves, to up their defence as the enemy approached, from every side.

But, alas… it was all to no avail. The Muslims were ambushed from behind, and indeed… they feared that this would bring their fate.

And then, like a sweeping eagle, her presence came, almost from nowhere… and there she was.

She knew she couldn’t resist, because that love that the most honoured of people have for the Best of the Best (SAW), was beyond the world itself. Nusaybah (RA) plunged into the battlefield, because she knew there was no way she could let the enemy overpower. She couldn’t let her lot down. Seeing her beloved Messenger (SAW) immensely threatened, she knew she would not bear it if he was slain.

And how she edged on, amidst open gashes and dripping wounds…. The Muslim soldiers were awestruck. They were simply astounded by the skill of this woman with a sword, who persevered valiantly throughout the attack of her enemy. They family fought on with intese determination, inspired greater heights of heroism, and renewed all vigour. The Prophet (SAW) said that in whichever direction he looked, he saw Nusaybah (RA) fighting and defending him.

She sustained at least 12 major wounds on the battlefield, one which took a year to heal. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said to her: 

‘From where can anyone get courage like you, O Umm ‘Umarah?’

Of course, nothing can compare to the determination of a woman.  At a time when the Muslims had respect, love, and honour, those women who had such passion, that nothing could hinder them. It was a fierce determination that made the best of companions. The nature of a woman with a raging love in her heart brought on another dimension completely.

Here I was, all this time, thinking that some superhero would be the one to get me out of this… but surprise, surprise… I, for one, should have known better. Girl power has no comparison.

Nusaybah grinned at me as I looked at her in awe and shook my head. She opened her laptop to show me the comments section… and I was shocked, 1056 comments. Really, people had so much of time…

For the first time in my life, I realized the extent of social media in the modern world. How a simple post can just fire up a whole controversy. There was really no getting away from it, yet I was so glad that I had remained oblivious all this time.

Yikes,” was all I could say, as I studied various comments from girls at school, obviously outraged by the scandal. There were even guys that I barely knew who had commented, and I felt quite concerned that this entire escapade had caused such a riot. It was shocking.

I exhaled, obviously relieved about the result, and wondering if Adam knew about this. Well, of course he would… I actually wondered if he had also had something to do wit it…

And then, something caught me eye.

Even when you try and change it, the beauty of truth always shines through. Beauty is about knowing and accepting who you are. That girl who you hurt and broke , she’s beautiful not only for the way she looks. She’s beautiful, right down to her very soul.”


I breathed out now, a little overwhelmed by emotion. Someone said that about me? Someone thought that about me? A girl who I probably barely even knew in school had seen something so deep, that it stood out for her so much, that she was inspired to write this…

Its never about your physical being. What was not important is how we treat people… how we act… how we react, especially when tested in way that could possibly break your spirit. Beautiful character was the most treasured beauty of all.

I could see Nusayabah looking at me as we both turned away now, knowing that it was enough of the social media. All of this was making me more emotional than I thought… and I really did not expect it…

”Looks like you have some secret admirers, huh?” She said quietly.

I smiled, amidst the torrent that I felt within my chest. My heart had undergone a massive turbulence during the past few weeks, but as I looked at Nusaybah, her courage, positivity and jolly nature was a healing for the most messed up of hearts.

“Talking about secret admirers,” I said, settling my hammering heart and taking the bait. “I had something to ask you.”

Nusaybah looked at me, with slight curiosity, as she plopped on to the bed and turned onto her tummy to eye me out.


How did I phrase this? I felt like I was challenging her dreams…

”I wanted to ask about Rubeena’s brother,” I said slightly hesitantly, feeling so awkwardly uncomfortable. “If he had to… errr…”

I was fumbling over my words because I really didn’t want to ask. But what had to be done, had to be done… I wouldn’t be able bear the uncertainty if I didn’t know.

Nusaybah cocked her head to one side and narrowed her eyes. I could almost see the lightbulb come on in her head. Nusaybah was no idiot, and I wanted to kick myself for acting so weird about the whole thing.

She was my best friend. My person. I couldn’t hide anything from her, even if I wanted to. How could I even think of it?

”Khawlah,” she said, pursing her lips.

And then, as if she could barely help it, she smiled, and like unhindered magic, her mouth involuntarily widened and it was like her bursts of laughter were just overflowing as they spilled out of her, before morphing into a fully blown fit of uncontrolled giggles.

And of course, seeing her like that myself, I couldn’t help but alleviate my own nerves with torrents of giggles too, because I knew that the awkwardness was over. And gosh, was I so glad.

“Oh my goodness, Khawlah!” Nusaybah panted, struggling for breath as she tried to overcome the urge to giggle more.

Childhood crushes and teenage dreams… it was all part of growing up, making mistakes and learning through it all. And yes, I knew it had been silly at first, but my hope had always been that at some point, Nusaybah would grow up and either overcome it or find some kind of happy ending… but I just didn’t expect my own feelings to come in between.

The truth was that she was really never serious in any of her little remarks she had made about Adam, and she definitely did not expect anything to come out of it.

“Khawlah,” she said, after her little explanation and all the giggles had died down. “You think I didn’t expect this?”

She was smiling as she said it, but I wasn’t.

”Gosh, Khawlah… when I took you there, I already knew that Rubeena would love you,” she said, so naturally. “The kids too. I mean, how could they not?”

I swallowed, not knowing that all this time… Nusaybah had known all along. Maybe even planned it. I couldn’t help but feel emotional. She was so good-natured. Unbelievably selfless. Excessively rich in character.

“And of course, Adam, sooner or later, he would too…”

I bit my lip, not trusting myself to say anything. I could tell from the look she was wearing that she remembered that day we had first seen him, and all we noticed was biceps and gelled hair. Who would have thought that he would have ever changed? 

I knew what I wanted, but was it really the right thing? Yes, I had humbly asked my Lord to guide me in very step of my new venture.. but how would I ever be really sure?

“Hey,” she said now with a tiny dimpled smile, looking at me with her chin cupped in her hands. “I know you worried about his past, but listen… you have to take the plunge. Everyone’s got sins. Nikah is not meant to be a confession session. Take a chance, ‘coz what Allah has decreed, who are we to challenge? Doesn’t He say when you turn to him and repent, then it’s like whoooossshhh…”

She stretched out her arm instinctively to illustrate something like the wiping of a chalkboard.

“Just like that,” she said with a force, raising her eyebrows. “Everything gets erased, hun. Everything. So who are we to judge?”

I smiled, because of course, Nusaybah was  obviously Divinely sent. An assistance through every thorny patch that I had always hoped would be full of roses. An alleviation to the most turbulent storms, her refreshing showers of inspiration were a mercy from above.

“Hey,” she said, grinning from ear-to-ear now. “Quit the worrying. There’s no getting away from your bestie. I’m warning you- I’m going to be there for everything. Like a creepy stalker, I won’t leave your side. The proposal, the Nikah, even the romantic  dates when you’ll are getting to know each other after being married – I mean, that’s like the cutest thing ever…”

She fake-gagged and rolled her eyes as she said it and winked at me.

I wanted to laugh and cry all at the same time. There was still so much to think about… so much to still decide. I was still so young, and there was so much going on… I felt in over my head. I knew I wouldn’t stay with him, and he did tell me he’s willing to wait, but would he really wait for me to till I finish school?

Call me presumptions… but I never thought I’d be the type to get married early. What I wanted was something different. And yes, getting married at a young age is difficult and challenging and sets us up for unique obstacles, but I wanted to be there to watch my husband grow too. I didn’t want to see him, if I knew it wouldn’t be right. Pure. I didn’t want to risk hurting our future through anything detrimental, because I wanted it to be special, and I knew it could be so great.

And as Nusaybah looked at me, I knew exactly what she had on her mind. I was tough, yes. A warrior, always. I was supposed to be the strong one here… but Nusaybah…

She was beyond even that. She had shown the strength of a woman who held so much of conviction in her heart, because she knew what to tell me to get me to do the best thing for my Deen.

Was I just going to be like everyone else and do what everyone else does…? To move through the motions of a relationship and remain undecided… with no direction, like so many girls we knew.

And yes, I didn’t know much about feelings. I didn’t even know about love.  But what I did know was that when it came to matters of the heart, we seldom have much control. We don’t reason what we feel; we just feel. And what I felt… I could barely explain.

Taqdeer. Destiny. Fate.

It was what it was. It shall be what it shall be. That is how it will end.

The ties that bind us are impossible to explain, but some ties… some ties are just meant to be. Some people just speak to our souls. They spark a connection that not even time, distance or logic can explain.

All I knew was this; I wanted to be right there. To grow together. Not at at arms length. Not even a short distance away. Marriage… Nikah… that sacred union… was something so intense and intimate that it knew no barriers. Through loss and through love… through sickness, senility, and through everything that we conquered along life’s way… I didn’t want to miss out. The first grey hair, the moment we would hit our thirties… the wrinkles, changing bodies and the ups and downs that come with being through the tough times together too…

The Maker of my unruly heart knew me better than anyone else, and of course, He knew why He placed certain people in our paths. Whether it be for a day, a month, or just a season… You would be surprised as to what is waiting to walk in to your life, once you learn to stop running. But once you stop, you begin to feel more. You begin to understand, what is meant to be and what is meant to run away…. 

In retrospect, when I looked back, how Allah had planned my journey with Adam so perfectly, I couldn’t even divulge. Light upon light, that shone through after the overwhelming darkness, was more perfect than I could imagine. His was the hope that had freed us, after we had been burdened for so long. With so much that had held us back in the past, Adam had an unbelievable way that snuck into every heart, and stayed there, even long after he was gone.

All I could say about back then was than Taqdeer (destiny) had a beautiful way of revealing itself, and it’s unfolding, though it broke my heart many times, finally opened it’s very doors. Sometimes you have to hurt, to heal. Sometimes the cure for the pain, is in the pain itself.

It was time for me to give my final answer, and I couldn’t think of any better  time to do it than right now….

And of course, just as the knocking sounded on Nusaybah’s room door… I already knew that destiny was waiting just outside…

This is my story. And this is just the beginning.


Getting married or making Nikah young… Any thoughts? 

Always love to hear the rambles of the readers!

Much Love,

A 🌸

Don’t forget our mission Sunnah revival! 

The beautiful character of Nabi (SAW).

The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said:

“He who believes in Allah and the Hereafter, if he witnesses any matter he should talk in good terms about it or keep quiet.” [Muslim]

We often find ourselves in situations where we sit and talk about things that do not concern us. We waste precious minutes, even hours, just by talking about matters that will not increase us in knowledge, character or anything for that matter.

When speaking ill of a person or situation, the conversation becomes elongated, sadly due to the desire to gossip. The beauty of this particular Sunnah is that it will help you save time and reduce the amount of energy used to contemplate over irrelevant matters being discussed.

Let’s revive this Sunnah InshaAllah, because it is through our Akhlaaq that people can see the light of Islam and beauty of Deen.

How easy to practise!






Twitter @ajourneyjournal

IG: @thejourneyingmuslimah


29 thoughts on “When Destiny Awaits

  1. It was beautiful and most well explained.. I love figures lije nusayba who instead of judging help you through tough situations… I think khawlah is ready to take the next big step!! Let’s see what dear authoress writes next!!!

    Liked by 4 people

    • Aw Shukran sis, 💖
      I agree, and I think it’s always so important to have people who see the positives in life and help you to see it too.. Usually people are always so selfish in their pursuits- nusaybahs character is refreshing ✨✨

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Asalamualaykum..
    Enjoying every bit of the story..🌹!!! I’m itching to know what zuleika and ahmed thinks of this whole saga..whats their thoughts of the whole scandal and also the family khawlas going into etc… But Don’t worry..!! 🌺Enjoy your break and relax…We’ll wait although not very patiently 🤪😜

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Beautiful story with beautiful lessons…
    I think getting married young depends on each individual…some people mature faster mentally than others..but by 20 I feel girls are ready for marriage and in our times of fitnah it’s better to marry young

    Liked by 3 people

    • Shukran sis… It does, and emotional maturity is more important than anything. Marrying young definitely has its advantages, because one thing I can say from experience is that you grow through so much together and you are more dependent on each other- which makes you want to work harder on your marriage. I think our youth in this day and age face so many challenges and the fitnah, as you said, if too tempting, should be a deciding factor.. Shukran jazeelan for your comment, sis!

      Liked by 3 people

  4. Enjoy your much deserved break❤

    Regarding nikah at a young age, I’d say go for it provided you’re mature enough. As Haadiyah said it depends on the individual. Its rather you get married than be involved in Zinah.

    However you need to know what marriage is. You cannot play around with feelings of your spouse, etc.

    As a young girl, I myself confess that marriage sounds a bit scary, especially in the zamaanah we living, but as you say, its all about taking a plunge. I was speaking to my Apa and I voiced out my fear, she said, make dua upon dua upon dua and Allah will help you.

    I guess I’m with the old grannies on this one, but anyways its just my two cents. Feel free to disagree.❤💙❤

    Liked by 3 people

    • Agreed too with the old grannies like myslef.. hehe.
      Your emotional maturity is on another level SubhaanAllah.. If only our youth could all understand this, but as we attempt to propagate this Deen as Da’ees, Insha Allah we make Du’aa and hope that all youth can gain this kind of thinking so we do only for His pleasure and what will make our Allah pleased with us.
      We take the plunge and have faith that Allah will keep us afloat..
      Shukran so much for your comments, dear sis..

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Im very much older and not married yet
    My honest opinion is that dont wait this long till you get settled.
    There is alot of wisdom in marrying young.you havent really settled much and hence you settled once and for all with your husband
    Im quite settled and the thought of uprooting is giving me nightmares. The worse part is you judged differently if you older and not married..unfortunately people actually wonder whats wrong with you..
    Alhamdulilah i have accepted that life is and will never be in my control. there is a hidden acceptance of Allah’s plan and it brings peace and security knowing that Allah is in charge..
    To all my beloved mothers and sisters please do me one favour the next time you see someone older and not married dont allow your mind to think see shes so fat or too educated or family is too untidy or noisy thats why shes not married….keep your mind sealed and bless us with your duas for strenght and patience and chastity while we await Allah’s decree…
    To those older and not married its not the end of the world …Remember our duty is to live in a way that is pleasing to Allah . we have no control over what our future holds but we have the present ..use it to add sunshine to someone elses darkness and make an orphan smile,help a widow to get through life. We have the time and the energy use it to build our aakirat ..
    Lovely story
    Please keep me in duas..

    Liked by 7 people

    • I can echo your sentiments × 100. And the worst idea that people have is that “you” don’t want to get married. Khair, as you said, we need a lot of dua in this situation ..

      Liked by 3 people

    • SubhaanAllah, sis. Your words have inspired me, and although marriage is a great Ibaadat, it does not, in any way, define who you are. Yes, as society, we often tend to pick on career choice, fussiness and don’t see the bigger picture behind the reason for (a woman especially) being unmarried.
      You are spot on in what you say. Possibly, Allah has chosen you (and other sisters who are in a similar situation) for a great Ibadat that you may have not been able to achieve had you been committed in a marriage. My sister is older and also unmarried and I sometimes envy the time she has committed to orphan care, NPOs etc… To serve humanity is so fulfilling. Allah make it a means of attaining the best in Aakhirah as well.
      As much as marrying young is great, its also important to find yourself and realise that your relationship with Allah is above all else and any other love that one can have. Alhumdulillah, Allah has given you that much and I pray that He blesses you with more,along with sabr, strength to withstand the comments that may be targeted at you and the perfect match that is waiting for you here and in Jannah Insha Allah. I will definitely keep your words in mind when looking at my cousins , friends etc, who have not yet married or are too afraid to take the plunge. Hats off to you sis, you will be in my Duaas.

      Liked by 3 people

  6. We will keep all our sisters in our Du’aas. Unfortunately, as we get older the difficulty is also in finding men who are capable and open-minded enough to accept a sister the way she is, whether she is undergoing health issues, progressing in her career or just a little more particular about the person she is choosing to spend the rest of her life with. Remember Allah has a beautiful plan for every single one of us, as long as we are in His obedience, He is going to open a door that we thought was shut all along.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Ma Sha Allah, all your posts are so inspiring, may Allah take you from strength to strength Aameen
    Enjoyed everyone’s take on marriage… I would like to know what do people consider ‘old’, personally I got married at 24 and I didn’t feel it old although I know people were worried… But it had nothing to do with being fussy or looks or weight, I just never got proposals, Alhamdulillah I am happily married now and I feel happy I had time with my parents before marriage
    I did ask my husband a while after we were married, I said to him I won’t feel bad but did you wonder why I wasn’t married yet at my age and he said he did and asked his mum about it and he got a good scolding lol

    Liked by 2 people

    • Shukran sister. May Allah inspire this writer first, Aameen.
      Personally, I think anything under 25 is still young 🌹 but others may think otherwise.
      Haha, I love that he got a good scolding. I also think that everyone wants different things for themselves at different times… so as long as you we comfortable and happy with what life had dealt you at different times then you’re all good! ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Sorry for the so long comment…
    In the last post I’m worried about the sentence ‘Adam had an unbelievable way and snuck into everyone’s heart LONG AFTER HE WAS GONE’ are you planning to kill him off

    Liked by 2 people

  9. MashAllah Khawlah is blessed to have a friend like Nusaybah.

    With marrying when young, I also agree that it does depend on the maturity of the couple. If they are matured why not, esp in today’s time when young people find themselves in so much haraam relationships.
    I guess in today’s time many youth are also infatuated by romance that they have seen on the screen or read in novels and fantasize about marriage in a different way. They should realize that marriage is not just something you can survive on love and fresh air… they should realize the reality of marriage and responsibilities that come along with it.

    JazaakAllah khair for the posts.

    Ps* thinking about Zuleikha too

    Liked by 2 people

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