Some Storm

Bismihi Ta’ala

Khawlah

“Can I look yet?”

”Just a few more minutes…” Aadam’s voice said excitedly.

I was completely in tune with my senses as I walked along. The scent of wilderness was refreshing. The scrunching of the leaves underneath my pumps were an indication that we were somewhere outdoors. The teetering of a variety of birds reminded me of the park near Aadam’s place, although now that we had travelled for a while, I knew that we were quite far from home….

”Now?!” I asked, tapping my foot impatiently as we halted, and the sound of water now audible as I listened. I had regrettably put the blindfold on, despite hating surprises.

One positive was that now I did realize that when your one sense is compromised, it seemed as though every other one was considerably heightened.

“Patience gorgeous,” Aadams voice was saying, and I could hear him a few meters away. “Just a little more time…”

“You mean you dragged me out of bed at insane hours so you can keep me standing here looking at nothing but blackness?!”

”Careful cowgirl,” Aadam was saying. “With all this biting my head off you’re competing with the hungry crocodiles…”

I placed my hands on my hips, naturally getting grumpier by the second.
Biting his head off? What did he… Hey, wait.

Did he just say hungry crocodiles?!

Yikes..! Was this some kind of insane trust test of something?!

”Aadam!” I almost screeched. A bit like a fish wife. I knew that I was going against every rule that Nusaybah had set up for me last night but I couldn’t help it. The guy was making me freak out.

”If you don’t take this thing-“

”Okay, okay, relax… you can look!”

Of course, as the magic of light became apparent to me, my voice already froze in my throat…

He was planted in front of me with his hands outstretched and a look of wizardry on his face. At that moment he honestly reminded me of one of those comical magician figures as he watched me, my eyes fixed ahead in absolute wonder.

”Ta-da!” He said, quite visibly thrilled as I grinned at him and then shifted my eyes to the beautiful scenery that lay before me. And honestly, if I could say I have ever been at a loss for words, this would be the moment. “I know it’s not Maldives, but yeah, you know…”

I was simply blown away.

He walked towards me slowly, reaching out for my hand and giving it a little squeeze.

”Are you in love yet?”

”Absolutely,” I breathed, completely at a loss.

There were millions of things that I loved about nature and what was pictured right in front of me was one of them.

I really had to pause to catch my breath as I looked up into the green mountains that surrounded us, with the most strikingly blue estuary spread below. A small stream was right ahead and in between was a bank which lead to a greater mass of water that looked extremely appealing. Sea gulls squawked above us and Egyptian geese settled on the nearby shore. The early morning light was a feast for the eyes as it met the break of tide, revealing the most perfect shades of blue and scarlet from here to beyond the seas… where the water seemed to never end.

Of course, with my husband knowing me so well… right on edge of the waters, just for my grumbling tummy was a simple picnic spread that boasted a few basic breakfast necessities and snacks. Sunnah style dates with cucumbers. Crackers and cream cheese. Milk and cookies. A few of my favorite all-time snacks that I would munch on at regular intervals at home… and it just showed how much Aadam already knew about me. I simply would not survive without some scrumptious nourishment.

”Remember the date we were supposed to go on?” He asked, as he sidled up to me and I reached for a cucumber.

I nodded. Of course I remembered. It was that crazy week where Aadam’s past had come back to haunt us and I couldn’t bear to even face him. So this was what Aadam had up his sleeve…
He reached down and picked up a fresh date, handing it to me.

”Here you go,” he grinned, obviously finding himself very funny.

I rolled my eyes at his lame joke but grabbed it anyway, surprised at its amazing sweetness as I bit in. I had forgotten the unfamiliar queasiness I had been feeling after that long drive… my stomach was in need of some nourishment and I was already tucking in.

I glanced around, almost in awe of the beauty. It wasn’t every day that you saw the sunrise against the most beautiful emerald hillocks that seemed to never end. It was an array of pinks and magenta… yellows and tangerine… somehow, even in different parts of even the same country, sunrises were magnificently different. Aadam pecked my cheek as we looked on, both of us a little mesmerized as the light from the skies seemed to fill the entire world.

It had been an early morning once again but I appreciated it because Aadam that taught me that at these parts of the day was when the most amazing things can be seen.

When Aadam had said early, I supposed my mind kind of blocked out the reality of what he really meant by it. I hated waking early, but with Aadam, his sickness hadn’t changed his habits. As usual, when he had these sort of plans, he had pitched up at my house in the wee hours of the morning. Ahmed had given him a key a few months ago… to avoid any possible early morning moodiness from the inmates of the house and without even hearing him sneaking in to my tornado-ish bedroom, the scent of alluring aftershave in the midst of my early morning slumber awakened my senses before I could even pry my eyes open. His voice was gentle yet disturbingly alive at that part of the morning…

“You’re early,” I mumbled, wishing that he wasn’t.

”Sweetheart,” his completely unnervingly smooth voice said. “It’s almost 10AM…”

”What?!”

I jumped up with a shock, narrowing my eyes at Aadam’s chuckling as he watched me.

”I knew that would work…”

My eyes shot open, taking in the contours of Aadam’s face as he smiled at me. As usual, he looked great, smelled great, and made me feel like Mrs Frump all over again.

And yes, I know that I should have known better. By now, and it wasn’t like I didn’t expect him that early. It was just that when my dear friend  Nusaybah had heard that I was needing to be out of the house for a special outing the next day, of course, the twenty-one questions (most with answers provided by my amazing friend) were already inevitable. I had a list of do’s, don’ts and absolute no-nos. I had only slept after midnight by the time she finished off.  I felt like I was getting married all over again and Nusaybah was the bossy advisory officer.

“Where do you even find these places?” I asked, shaking my head at him.

“I used to come kayaking with my grandfather,” he said, glancing at me as he twiddled with his long fingers. “It was like our thing. He was an awesome  guy but he was rough… you know? A real man’s man, yeah. Always onto something adventurous and dangerous. Heart of gold. Tons of charity work. We always had a blast… Of course, I haven’t been here since he passed…”

I could feel the emotion is his voice as he spoke. It wasn’t often that he mentioned his grandfather and this was the most he had said about him. I knew that he also took after his grandfathers hobby with the carpentry. Somehow, we never got to talking more about him.

”That’s amazing,” I said softly, reaching for his hand. “You never did tell me though… how did he pass away?”

Aadam looked up at the skies as some pretty pigeons cooed above us, and then turned to glance back at me. They were unlike the ones I usually saw in the cities. Grey with a tinge of green… simply beautiful.

”Cancer,” he said simply and I could feel my heart immediately hammer in my chest.

”I didn’t know…” I said, my throat feeling dangerously constricted. “May Allah grant him the highest stages…”

All sorts of things were going through my mind. I had no idea that his grandfather had cancer. What cancer was it? Was that why he barely spoke about him? Did it bring back painful memories?

He was studying me as I looked up at him, my eyes searching his for an answer. I was too scared to ask. I didn’t want to spoil the mood…..

The beauty… the nature… the sincere love that Aadam had in mind when he planned this. Of course he had wanted it to be a perfect day. 

”You know what he used to tell me back then?”

I glanced at him for a moment as he stared ahead. His dark eyes were fixed on something in the distance and he subconsciously ran his hands through his beard as he spoke.

I looked back at him inquiringly.

“He wasn’t the most pious person you could meet, but he had this awareness, you know?” He said quietly. “I remember him asking me once while we were here: ‘Can you see Allah’s hand here… in everything?’
Of course… I didn’t get it then. I never really understood what he meant. All I thought was that he was a little bit of a crazy old man who didn’t understand the science of rock formations and seasonal changes. I was always taught that everything around me was pure science. That’s how I was engineered to think. Coincidence, you know? Laws of nature. Allah’s existence for me was merely an ideology.. but now, Khawlah, now I see it. Now I see that His creation are signs. Now I see the reality. Now only, as I look at it… I can see His constant presence in everything that exists. How nothing exists without Him and how He can exist without anything…”

I swallowed and nodded, too afraid to speak. I could see exactly what his grandfather had spoken about. Of course I could. In every leaf. Every ebb of the soft tide. Every rock that surrounded us.

”So much of beauty here,” I murmured, letting my emotions settle. “This place is really something else…

“Imagine how Allah planned this all in complete synchronization,” he said softly. “How everything flows and blooms and reveals itself in such a wonder that we can’t help but remember Him…”

He was right. This was a level of it’s own. It was pure nature and beauty that was unforgettable. The thing was, anywhere you go could be an opportunity to see the master of Allah’s work…

“Come on,” he said, pulling the boat forward as he gestured to it. “You ready for some adventure?”

I raised my eyebrows at him as he looked at me.

“Are you sure there are no animals lurking in there that might eat me?” I asked.

He smiled and grasped my hand, gently guiding me as to where to put my feet and then seating me sturdily in the low boat. It felt… different. Almost like I was so close to the water, but not exactly there. Relaxing and peaceful and unlike any feeling I’d felt before.

“I learnt to kayak when we were in school,” he said as he hopped on easily, pushing off from the shore as we made on our way to the midst of the waters. “The guys would always have a ball out in the water. I came here once with my grandfather and fell in love with this place.”

He was swiftly moving the oars as we moved ahead. I watched him intently, as his sturdy arms rotating steadily round and round, in a certain rhythm, wondering how much of practice it took to get to the point when you could do it so effortlessly.

”Are you checking me out?” Aadam asked, raising his eyebrows at me. ”I’m married, you know…”

I rolled my eyes at him as he winked. His jaw was clenching with each tug of the awe, and I could only imagine how much of effort this must be putting on his limbs.

”Aren’t your arms sore?” I asked, worried that he was straining himself. Today seemed like a good day but with Aadam… well, I was always worried. He was an expert at pretending he was okay.

”I’m fine,” he insisted, stopping for a moment and looking at me intently as he explained to me about geographical laws of nature and how the rock formations occurred. How he loved learning about it and how it all came together with the will of Allah.

There was a beautiful but seasonal waterfall that was trickling from the peak of the surrounding mountains… and I gazed up at it just as the grey clouds suddenly came into view…

We had already been rowing for close to an hour. The skies above us were changing slightly as I looked up a little worriedly.

The waters were getting more rough and what was a slight drizzle became raindrops falling, blurring our vision slightly. It was so beautiful and serene… even with the rain and the grey clouds above… I was so in love with this that I couldn’t help but tear. What I didn’t know was that it wasn’t just the surroundings that was making me emotional. I had no idea of the magic yet, but as I sat there with my husband, feeling like some kind of crazy and hormonal woman, there was very evidently something foreign and miracle-like wrecking havoc within my body.

We had reached the shore now and I couldn’t tell what was blurring my eyes more. Without any warning, a low rumble of thunder sounded from above us and I jumped. Aadam looked at me from across, rowing fiercely as he tried to mount us onto the sand. We still had the stream to cross, and unlike earlier, where it appeared calm and serene, now it was raging with ferocity. My heart was in my throat as I looked at Aadam, trying to steady myself on the bank and wondering how on earth we were going to get out of this. The panic was settling in and I could see that Aadam was concerned too. 

“Aadam, how are we going to get to the car?”

He had just pulled the boat up and was now trying it to keep it from getting washed away.

He turned to me, silently throwing me a jacket from his bag as I covered myself with it. His hair was soaked already and his t-shirt completely drenched.

”What are we going to do?!” I asked, panicking like never before. It was unlike me, and  the first time in my life I had been so scared. We were caught in the middle of two raging streams and had no idea how to escape.

As fearless as I had been, stormy weather was my weak point. My shortfall. My Achilles heel. Even as a kid.. when it came to the big ones..  There were some storms that I could never face…

I turned to my husband as he glanced at the stream, a little taken aback at how it had transformed.

The water was crashing against the surrounding rocks, and I grabbed onto him with a yelp as it splashed onto my dress, now soaking the bottom. The jacket was over my head and I looked around me, wondering how the weather had changed so fast.

“Aadam, this is crazy,” I breathed. “We need to find some shelter…”

Storms were one occasion that brought out the worst in me. Rivalry. Swords. Even guns. I could take on anything else, but the warrior within me wasn’t equipped for this. I remembered curling up close to Mama when I was a little girl the moment I would hear that familiar rumble from the sky. I was almost frozen as Aadam tried to hoist me over the water so I could be partially untouched, I could see his own strength wavering.

”Come on,” he said as he turned to me. “You have to push against the current…”

”I can’t,” I almost cried. “It’s too strong! Let’s just wait for it to be over…”

”And get washed away in the process!” He almost shouted.

His expression immediately softened as another rumble of thunder roared above us. The pelting rain seemed to up a notch as well, and I could see a streak of fear in his eyes as he turned around to face me, who was by now absolutely hysterical…

Tears were flowing down my cheeks, but with the rain pouring down on us I wouldn’t think he noticed. He grasped my shoulders sturdily as we tried to balance, despite the force around us.

”Khawlah, do you think I’ll ever leave you here?” He said, his eyes boring into mine.

The droplets of water were sliding down his face as he said it, and he wiped them off hastily, holding onto me fiercely as he spoke.

I shook my head, knowing that he wouldn’t. Of course he wouldn’t.

”I love you, Khawlah,” he said, his hands gripping me tightly as the storm raged on. “But this… around us… right now.. like everything we’ve seen today… it’s proof of Allah’s power. And He loves you much more than I do.
Do you ever think that He will leave you alone, Khawlah? Do you ever doubt that he won’t take care of you?! As terrifying and unexpected as this all is… Khawlah, In every time. In every place. As much hurt or fear or pain that you feel.. There is a loving and caring Lord who is always looking after you…”

I looked at him, the fear in my chest still palatable but significantly less intense.

“Truly… He gives you what you expect… if not more. Have high expectations and you’ll never be let down. This is no ordinary being. He is One who made you… created you… sustains and loves you more than you will ever know… come on, sweets. Trust me. We’ll get through this.”

And just like that, I wasn’t sure from where or how… but there was a serenity that descended over me like I never felt before. It was as if the entire world didn’t matter. It was a magic that he had passed on with his words, pushing me to delve into the depths of my soul and find the courage within. Find the faith I knew I had. Despite the storm, and despite the panic and overwhelming fear… Sometimes we just had to leave it to Allah. With that knowledge and submission, often, you find an entirely new kind of liberation…

And as he turned back around, almost carrying me through that raging stream, we did just that. We got through that storm. That furious river. That pelting rain. The rumbling thunder above and bolts of lightning that flashed all around us.

Because sometimes we do need someone to remind us that there’s an end to every storm. That there’s something more beyond it. More powerful. Overwhelmingly greater.
Once everything’s been uprooted. Once the buildings have been ripped apart. The wind will hush, the clouds will part, the rain will stop, the sky will clear in an instant. But only then, in those quiet moments after the storm, do we learn who how we were strong enough to survive it. How we got through it. Who brought us to safety. That beyond it all there was a Great Lord Who hears every cry, knows every fear and sees far more than we know…

And as we sprinted through that storm, reaching the car panting and in absolute exhaustion, my mind too was racing with those very thoughts that I could not fathom all along. Right then… at that moment, I had all the words to tell him, to explain the magic… to express my amazement… but as Aadam literally collapsed onto the seat next to me, my thoughts halted as I heard his labored breathing significantly more strained than usual.

“Are you okay?” I asked, feeling the adrenaline rush wearing off as I glanced at him, forgetting the moments of pure liberation I had felt just then. Running in the rain had brought on a completely different dimension for me that day.

”We’re… so lucky,” he said, sounding so unlike himself as he took breaths between his words. “Allah really… took… care of us. Just… need… a few minutes…”

He closed his eyes as I watched him, his chest rapidly rising and falling as I waited for him to turn to me and give me his usual Aadam grin.

But it wasn’t a few minutes. It wasn’t what he had thought. Some storms are meant to be faced. Some can be defied. Some can even bring a beauty that we’ve never seen before.

But sometimes there aren’t always rainbows waiting to reveal themselves after the storm. This storm was one that changed the season of our entire lives…

---

Dear Readers,

Just on that note, a thought that ran through my mind as I wrote… was that we often hear of Allah’s love for us and how it can exceed any kind of love we have in this world.

Many people wonder about the Ummah and often question all the calamities that befall us today. It truly pains our heart, and though we send money, raise funds and awareness… a valid point I just read about this morning was that we should constantly try and boycott sin. This is the only true remedy to stop the stress on the Ummah. May Allah assist us and help us to heave faith in His love and plan always…

#justmyrambles

Much Love,

A xx

A forgotten Sunnah. Eaten fallen particles… next we’ll do some Sunnahs on food as mentioned in the post. 

Sometimes we forget the Barakah that can be in even a grain of food. To eat what has fallen on the cloth or even the floor… SubhaanAllah.
Anas ibn Maalik narrated that when the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) ate, he would lick his three fingers. Anas said: “And he said, ‘If any one of you drops a piece of food, let him remove any dirt from it and eat it, and not leave it for the Shaytaan.’ And he commanded us to clean the plate, and said, ‘For you do not know where in your food the blessing is.’” (Narrated by Muslim, 2034). 

#revivetheSunnahofMiswaak 

#revivetheSunnahofAkhlaaq 

#revivetheSunnahofKinship

#revivetheSunnahofhonouringguests

 

#revivetheSunnahofdrinkingwater 

#revivetheSunnahofeating 

#revivetheSunnahDuaas

Twitter: @ajourneyjournal

 

• Ambition
• Appreciation
• Believe
• Birds
• Boats
• Cancer.
• Death
• Disease
• Faith
• Hope
• Life
• Love
• Marriage
• Memories
• Mountains
• Nature
• Sickness
• Storm
• Tawakkul
• Water
• Waterfall