A New Life

Bismihi Ta’ala


Ajeeb. It was a word that my friend Zaynah often used to describe the apparent nature of this world. It’s heartfelt joys. It’s treacherous heartbreaks. How it sometimes left me smiling from ear to ear, or tearing from its vicious inconsistencies… It still brought one word to mind.

Uniquely beautiful. Beautifully strange. Strangely unique. Ajeeb. Truly, there was nothing that happened in this life that we could really explain. And though we are aware of exactly how the nature of this world is, we still remain in a state of strange uncertainty. The thing is, we know that this Duniyaa is meant to end.  We know with absolute certainty that we will have go. Eventually, we will all have to leave this path that we are treading and go back to our Lord. We can’t be scared of the inevitable. What we do need to fear, is how we will leave. Our aim, as we are now, is to live in the full knowledge that the crux of this world is not to attain the best of it, but to equip us with what we will need for the Aakhirah.

And like death and it’s reality can bring lessons that we need to so desperately learn… the gift of a new life too can bring a it’s own understanding too. People will live, and then die… and with every new chapter, a new little life will find his or her way into this world to aspire through the same journey that we all are meant to make. To live. To die. To know that their every breath and living and dying is only for One Allah. That was the way it worked.. that was the way we came to know and have always known… the cycle of life from way before we were born to well after we all die…

The soft sound of Adhaan awakened my senses as my mind adjusted to the reality. This birth was something quite surreal. It was like some kind of dream. An untainted reality that had caught me completely unaware, as I had witnessed my sister transition into the mature and amazing young woman and mother that she now was, I simply could not believe how she had grown.

There were so many things that I had learnt from her. So much of goodness that came from what she was going through. And of course it was no easy task, but for a believer, nothing is a calamity. Every situation is one where you can reap goodness from. Every calamity becomes a means of drawing close to your Lord.

Coming from the life that I had been living, to see her go through almost seven months of seclusion  was amazing. One could say even, isolation. Her serenity and comfort made me feel like I had been missing something hugely crucial all along my life. My life had been so full. Full to its capacity. Filled with menial tasks of shopping and functions and worldly whims and desires… I came to see a painful truth in its pointlessness.

For Khawlah, having the strength that she had to endure her tests so patiently really put so much in perspective for me. The thing is, it was a great test… but people like me saw it as a punishment. If I had been in her position, I knew that my weak faith would only let me respond to it like it was some kind of terrible fate. Instead, my sister had looked at it differently. Instead, she had chosen it to be her means  of finding contentment in the decree of Allah. It was her way of calming herself, gaining the strength she needed and focusing on the real goals and objectives that we as Mu’mineen should always have in mind. It was beautiful to witness but as she evolved, I couldn’t help but be completely in awe of the type of person that this had made her. It made me want to aim for so much more than I had ever dreamt of for myself. 

I sucked in my breath as Yunus’s voice heighten once again as he continued with the call to prayer in my nieces little ears, and my heart lifted as the testimony of faith was repeated in the ears of my new niece. It was such a spectacular sound. Just it’s tone and inflections were so uplifting and amazing that I couldn’t help but shudder with the realization of its truth as it was called out…

Ash-Hadu Allah Illaha Illalah…

Ash-Hadu Anna Muhammadur Rasulullah…

His deep voice almost echoed from the next door room. It brought back memories of my own birth, which was worlds apart from my sisters. She was, Alhumdulillah, blessed with such ease that I could barely comprehend it. Her labor was short, uncomplicated and almost painless. As I watched her sleep now, after the strength she had so courageously showed throughout, I could not believe that she had gone through this with so much of unwavering faith.

I placed next to Khawlah’s bed her energy drink that she had become accustomed to having during her pregnancy. Nabeez. A drink of dates that were left to soak until the water became sweet. Khawlah had requested this as her labor commenced and I could see such wisdom in the Sunnah as her energy levels depleted, the nutrients had nourished her throughout this time when she needed it most. It was truly incredible.

I silently kissed my beautiful sisters forehead as I pushed back a few stray locks under her burqa. I left her niqab next to her for when she awoke, knowing that she would be looking for it when she came to. It was a step that she had decided to take, and being out of her Iddat now already made her so much more aware of herself. I couldn’t help but think how proud of her I was as I turned to leave, glancing at my sister-in-law’s anxious face as I stepped out with a smile. As she hugged me, I instantly remembered the beautiful baby that had just arrived to add so much of colour to our world. It was a gift that Allah was blessing us with and I could barely believe that it was here…

“How is she?” Rubeena asked worriedly.

”She’s absolutely perfect.” I said softly, assuring her that everything was okay. I had promised that I would be out as soon as I could. Besides, Khawlah  was asleep and the baby would be taken to be bathed. Yunus had accompanied the new addition that had plenty of caregivers available. Besides the fact that there were so many volunteers available, including Aunty Radiyyah and Nusaybah, I could see that we would have a problem tearing him away. He was absolutely smitten.

Rubeena’s eyes were filling with tears and I could hardly blame her. Of course, she would be thinking of Aadam now. There was not a single one of us who weren’t, but no-one said it aloud. It was a silent murmur  that existed within our aching hearts. How grateful we were that Allah had brought a person like him into our lives to show us so much about character. Beautiful character. It truly brought about the realization that nothing else in this world matters. If you are loved by Allah then every path will be paved for you with ease…

”What does she look like?” Ruby asked, as she blew her nose. I could see Ahmed watching us from where he stood. He was looking a little disoriented. Like me, he couldn’t believe that this was actually happening. Some things, even after a months, still feel surreal..

I looked at my sister in law, trying to focus on her question. There were so many emotions going through me at that time. I knew that I had to tell her though. If I didn’t say it, someone else most definitely would. It was undeniable.

”Well, right now,” I said quietly, a lump forming in my throat. “She looks just like her father.”

I breathed out as a fresh wave of tears seem to surface, and I couldn’t help but smile at my emotional sister-in-law. She could not have been more different from Ahmed, yet the two of them complimented each other perfectly.

She nodded and went off to chat with her mother who was anxiously waiting to catch a first glimpse of the baby. Eventually, she was wheeled our to the nursery and as they caught sight of her, I could tell that the emotion at that point was a little overwhelming.

They were full of praises of course. Oohs and aahs… amidst expressions of absolute wonder and awe. A girl, after all those boys… a light amidst all this darkness that seemed to overcome them… Allah had surely fulfilled his promise by giving so much more than we had expected.

She was named Khadijah. It was a name that Rubeena and Ahmed had chosen, but Khawlah knew well that Aadam had always loved. Apparently he had mentioned once to the boys that his daughter would have the name of his favorite Sahabi, and so my niece had was graciously named after one of the four women of world.

And of course, she was the light of our lives. The beacon of hope that would bring us so much of joy. Abba was ecstatic. Dada lived for the every tiny momentary event in her little life. He was so thrilled with the new addition to the family.

And yes, though it was so amazing to have her, it wasn’t always easy. Every day held a different challenge for Khawlah but she persevered with the help of those around her, and in true warrior-mode, pushed through the first few months of motherhood as a capable young woman who resembled someone who everyone admired. She was fortunate that little Khadoo… as we had come to calm her, was the sweetest little baby. Unlike Muhammed, she had no colic and very few growing pains. She was, in fact, like a little angel that Allah had sent to add so much of Barakah to our lives.

As the first few months of her existence came to pass,  little whimpers that we had become accustomed to soon turned into joyful gurgles, and  we constantly found ourselves delighting in every new development and every little milestone. She was incredibly beautiful, and even though I may have been biased because she was my niece, no-one could deny that she was most like her father, even in character. She never felt his absence because she had become everyone’s baby and was truly was loved by all. Content and smiling, calm and always a pleasure to have around… little Khadijah would often spend days with her grandparents or cousins with no fuss. Once she was weaned, she would easily spend nights with Aadam’s parents, who were absolutely thrilled to have a little granddaughter after the boys. She was a coolness to their eyes and they delighted in having her around.

As for me, I couldn’t have been more obsessed with my new niece. As for my son… I wasn’t sure what it was about her but everytime we came to Abba’s place, all I knew was that my now five-year-old relentlessly doted on her.

”Did you notice that her eyes are changing?” I asked my sister as I watched my niece play with Muhammed. To top it all, it was the cutest thing that even as a meager two-year-old, she was a real madam. Even though she was a whole three years younger, Muhammed would often get bossed around by the dominating streak that she had obviously inherited from my sister.

Khawlah nodded and smiled.

“She’s got your eyes now,” she said, looking at my nieces hazel eyes. “But other than that she’s exactly like Aadam…”

”You forgot that she’s got your crazy curls,” I grinned as watched the two of them play with the Mega Blocks that were spilled on the floor. My son was busy passing her all the ‘girl-coloured’ blocks while he would keep the blues on another section of the bedroom rug. There were playing some kind of colour- based building game they had invented by themselves. Kids were so cute together at times.

I watched my niece as we spoke about her. Khadijah’s features were delicate and beautiful. As she grew, she was also changing in small ways. Her little personality was something that would make me giggle at times. Like Khawlah, once she made her mind up about something, she was pretty much convinced. What was more amusing was how she would bring the house down at times, especially when it came to brushing her hair, and I could tell that we were doomed to the same hair disaster fate as we had with Khawlah.

”My son is obsessed with her,” I smilef as I watched Muhammed give in to her request of passing all the blue blocks over, despite him being left with nothing at all. “There’s nothing that he wouldn’t do for her. Jameel says we rather put on a proposal from now…”

Khawlah laughed as she mixed a bowl of rice for the two of them, making sure it wasn’t too hot before she recited a Bismillah and started feeding them. Both cousins gobbled up the food. Somehow Muhammed seemed to be more obliging with his aunty than with me. Perhaps it was Khawlah’s no-nonsense approach that caught him unawares, but there was no doubt that my son was more obedient with other people around.

”Talking about proposals…” she said quietly as she fed another handful to the jumping Khadijah. She was literally all over the place as she her curls bounced around and dived in for intermittent bites of food. Her cuteness was almost intoxicating. It made me broody for a little girl… but then again, I knew very well that there were never any guarantees…

“Yup,” I said, looking at my sister and wondering what she was saying about proposals. Her expression had turned serious. Of course Jameel was only joking. Though these two small ones made me constantly giggle, I wasn’t sure if we could really base their marital future on it…

”There have been some developments,” she said vaguely, her face looking a little flushed as she spoke. I narrowed my eyes as I turned my full attention to her, realizing that she wasn’t talking about the kids anymore. She was actually looking shy. Like, nervously bashful… almost as if she had some great revelation…

”You mean..?” I started stupidly, a little confused at first. “With you?”

Khawlah swallowed nervously as she fed the last bite to Muhammed, who was now singing some Nasheed that his father liked to play. Khadijah joined in as she caught on to the tune, in her own jumbled up language. It was so cute that I had to restrain myself from biting her cheeks. I grabbed her and squeezed her tightly, despite her grumpy protests, as I forced myself to focus on Khawlah.

”Khawlah, tell me,” I urged, looking at her cynically and putting my niece down again. “Does someone want to come for proposal? Do you know him?”

She nodded as she looked back at me, and a streak of fear shot through her eyes. Of course. She was scared. I could tell that she was afraid of opening herself up again. Was it too soon? 

I could tell that she felt guilty for even thinking about it. I could tell that to open her heart again was an extremely far-off notion to my sister. It seemed like ages ago since I remembered my sister so vibrant and content… the way that she had been when Aadam was alive.

“No-one can know,” she said softly. “It was a suggestion that Ahmed had put forward to me but Zulz.. Like… I’m not sure what the intention is… or if this whole things is more about Khadijah because of his circumstances…”

I looked at her worriedly, wondering who it could be that would have that intention in mind. My mind was abuzz with possibilities of people who would want a kid more than a wife. As lovely as my sister was, it wasn’t easy for a man to wholeheartedly accept a child from someone else. It looked like Khawlah was looking for excuses to refuse. If had been more than two years since Aadam had passed away. I knew it took time but for what it was worth, I knew that she needed to be told that it was okay to move on… that it was okay to make a new life…

”You know that you’re allowed to think about it?” I said, knowing my sister too well by now. I had sincerely wished that she would one day take this path. I just didn’t know that she had already shelved the idea when this match could be the exact one that she needed. “Who is he?”

“Doesn’t matter,” she said quietly, avoiding eye contact and focusing on Khadijah as she tied her unruly curls back. She finally met my gaze with a nonchalant shrug.

“I already said no.”

Dear Readers,

As Ramadhaan approaches, my thoughts are to conclude this blog within the next two- three weeks. Instead of longer posts I might be posting a few shorter ones to finish off before the final week of Shabaan.

Please make maaf for any shortcomings. Do remember me in your Duaas. Always in need of them.

Shukran for all the comments,❤️  I will reply ASAP.

Much Love

A xx

A Sunnah Drink Called Nabeez

  • Soak dates for a night in a packed container. If not the dates, then you can simply soak Golden Raisins instead of Dates too.
  • Remove the seeds from Dates or Raisins, and grind it with water. You can add honey, but it’s totally optional
  • You can also drink without grinding the dates and can eat dates separately.
  • It is an ideal drink for Ramadan, especially in Suhoor. It helps people keep their energy during a day-long fast.

How easy to practise!

allahuma baarik lana fi Sha’bana wa balligh-na Ramadan

Oh Allah! Grant us Barakah (Blessing) during (the months of) Sha’ban, and allow us to reach Ramadan.

Imam Shafi’i RA has stated: “I have heard that duaas are accepted

by Almighty Allah on five nights:

The night of Jumu’ah

The nights of the two ‘Eids

The first night of Rajab

The middle (15th) night of Sha’ban

Allah accept our efforts and Duaas.

A forgotten Sunnah. Eaten fallen particles… Sometimes we forget the Barakah that can be in even a grain of food. To eat what has fallen on the cloth or even the floor… SubhaanAllah.

Anas ibn Maalik narrated that when the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) ate, he would lick his three fingers. Anas said: “And he said, ‘If any one of you drops a piece of food, let him remove any dirt from it and eat it, and not leave it for the Shaytaan.’ And he commanded us to clean the plate, and said, ‘For you do not know where in your food the blessing is.’” (Narrated by Muslim, 2034). 








Twitter: @ajourneyjournal






31 thoughts on “A New Life

  1. This post put tears in my eyes… Had to compose myself coz my little one started looking worried lol. Haven’t had a chance to comment on the last few posts but i enjoyed every bit… Plz don’t tell me it’s siraj who’s proposed 😳
    I love how I can relate to the characters… Some are perfect some got flaws… There’s something in each that I relate to and the lessons somehow is like it’s just meant for me 🌺
    Can’t get my mind to process it ending 😭my only favorite author ❤️gonna miss you like crazy…you got me hooked from laila getting dunked in the water at school 😍

    Liked by 7 people

    • lol. Maybe Siraj, but we will definitely see shortly…
      I’m also feeling sad and nostalgic but I hope to leave some good lessons like Lailas and Ziyaad’s story… and really hope it’s been beneficial 💕💕
      Shukran so much for reading sister, will definitely miss you and all the readers so much 💔❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Jazaakillah khair for the lovely post with all the beautiful reminders…. wonder who was the person that she turned down…
    Jazaakillah khair for trying to conclude the story before Ramadhaan, hope you come back with a sequel after ان شاءالله

    Liked by 3 people

  3. So many things in this post…she had a baby…yay she donned the niqab alhamdulillah🎉. Time flew… and now I wonder who she said no to .🤔

    Shukran for the amazing post. 💞
    Please remember me and the ummah in your precious duas ❤

    Liked by 4 people

  4. السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته
    جزاك الله خير الجزاء
    I know I never comment.
    Mashallah lovely blog really enjoyed reading it. Always something new to learn nd take lessons from.
    May Allah make your blogs a means of hidayat for the whole ummah.
    May Allah accept you for his deen.
    Remember us and ummah in your duas. Nd everyone.

    Liked by 5 people

    • Wslm. JazakAllah Khair dear sister for reading and taking the time to comment. I do make dua that it at least benefits someone. Allah make it easy for me too to bring the lessons into my one life. I think the man reason I write is to remind myself… ❤️


  5. MashAllah Khadeejah ❤️ At least 5 of your characters have the same name as 5 of my kids ! We I can just imagine how hard it will be to move on to a new marriage esp if their relationship was so pure and strong. How would anyone match up to him? I am so sad that the blog is coming to an end. Hoping that you would be inspired to write another one inshAllah.
    JazaakAllah khair for sharing ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

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