And So it Happened Again

Bismihi Ta’ala

Zuleikha

“Hey hey hey,” Ahmed said as we both watched my sister-in-law rushing around in a frenzy-like attempt to get wedding-related edibles together.

On the kitchen counter were a selection of sweetmeats, biscuits, milkshake flavors and a personal favorite… the crunchiest and most syrupy jalebi. This was, by far, the highlight of these type of occasions. Kids were in and out, grabbing a treat or two as they pleased. My sister-in-law was on a roll and it didn’t look like she was going to stop anytime soon.

She looked briefly at Ahmed and I and smiled, almost immediately turning again to pipe the glittering pink burfee into little cups as she manoevred her bump appropriately, and subsequently placing the burfee cups on the edge of the platter. I could see Ahmed frown and as I busied myself with setting up the pretty biscuits, but from the corner of my eye I could see my brother looking over her shoulder to examine her work.

”Slow down,” he said to her, squeezing her shoulder lightly. “You’re stressing yourself out.”

Rubeena shook her head.

”I’m fine,” she said, only turning slightly as I tried not to listen.

“You need to take it easy,” he said softly.

He murmured a few words to her and then left it at that as Yunus called him to leave for the Nikah. Of course, excitement was brewing in the air and hysteria slowly surfacing, I didn’t think twice about anything else as I saw Khawlah rush off to her room in the hype that had all of a sudden ensued, and I turned to help Rubeena with what she was working on next. She had somehow managed to pick up, at the last minute, the most exquisitely decorated butter cookies for the small tea that we were going to serve after the Nikah.

”Please sit,” I said to her kindly, noticing her straining her back as she worked. It was no wonder that the pregnancy wasn’t an easy one. Her belly was huge and she was only a few months along. I wasn’t sure how she was going to manage the rest…

There was a shadow of a smile on her face as she continued with her task. And in that moment, I didn’t realize that Ahmed had, surprisingly, become a little more tuned to emotions since marrying Rubeena. Whereas I was somewhat unaware, he had come to noticed more than he used to… expressed a little more than we were accustomed to… and saw something in Rubeena that day that I had completely missed.

It was a good few minutes of comfortable silence as the men left and I continued with my menial task, when I suddenly heard a muffled sniffling from next to me. And though wasn’t sure at first… but when the almost inaudible sound persisted and I cast a slightly confused glance at her, it was obvious that I wasn’t mistaken. A single tear rolled down her cheek and though she tried to brush them away hastily without me noticing, we both knew that it was already too late. I watched her for a few seconds, at first not too sure about how to react… but then knowing that the only decent thing to do by then was to grab a tissue and hand it over.

”I’m so sorry!” She bawled as she clung onto it and dabbed her face, and I couldn’t help but wonder why she was apologizing to me.

”It’s okay,” I said soothingly as I rubbed her shoulder and she tried to conceal her emotions.

”I d-don’t know what’s wrong with me!” she blabbered, her pretty face looking immensely distressed. “This just brings back so many memories and I’m so sorry that I’m so emotional.. I just keep thinking about the fact that  I never really got to plan the function I was going to have for my brother and Khawlah…”

She burst into spluttering tears again and I couldn’t help by then to just l grip her firmly by the shoulders and move in for a fierce hug. My heart was breaking for her.

Of course she would be emotional. Of course.

“Shhhhhh,” I said soothingly, holding her tightly as her body shook with emotion. “It’s okay, it’s okay…”

She shook her head and pulled away slightly.

”It’s not!” She insisted, wiping her eyes again and sniffing. “This is s-supposed to be a h-happy occasion. I mean, Khawlah deserves to be happy! Khadijah deserves a father that she knows. And you know what’s the weirdest part about all of this?”

I swallowed and looked and my sister-in-law who had retired to the bar stool and blew her nose noisily as I watched her.

”He always wanted me to keep it simple, you know?” She said ruefully. “Like whenever I would bring the topic up- because he never would- maybe he knew, you know?  Maybe he knew there wouldn’t be enough time for these unimportant aspects that I was so looking forward to…”

I truly didn’t know what to say. This was such a joyous, yet heart-wrenching occasion. I wished that I could put the emotions into words but it was so, so hard…

”And the funny things is – you know what Adam would have said?” She said morosely.

I blinked, thinking about it. What would Aadam have said?

She shook her head and smiled, despite her teary face.

”I can almost hear his voice still,” she said quietly. “Saying, ‘Aw Rubes, don’t be like that. Just let it be, yeah? If Khawlah’s happy, we all should be happy.’ You know?”

She imitated her brother almost identically. It was super creepy yet so so nostalgic. Tears were filling my eyes as I smiled at those words. Aadam truly was one of a kind.

”And she is happy, right?” She said, meeting my eye steadily.  “I mean, I’m so grateful that after so long something good has come her way, and because Ahmed always talks about him from way before he even came into the picture… I do feel like Maulana Khalid is such a good match for her… but there’s still a small ache in my gut that I can’t help but feel because I just miss him so so much …”

Her voice broke at that point and I could feel tears welling up in my own eyes as I wondered once again about that love that seemed to lift Khawlah to new heights. Oh yes, Aadam was gold. He was absolutely unique. But the fact that Adam had left us the way he did, for some reason… it just made their love so much more sincere. True. Completely enviable. I knew that I for one, would always hold it on a pedestal because it was that type of love that made everyone else want to fall in love too.

It was that beautiful and I knew that she didn’t want to forget it. I completely understood. Neither did I.

She trailed off as her gaze shifted to behind me, and as my head turned towards her I had already sensed that my sister had returned. I instantly smiled at my nieces voice, and as my gaze shifted to my sister, my breathing instantly quickened because not only did my sister look so beautiful, but today there was something so intimately striking about her that I could not even swallow it. She wore a lightly embossed pastel chiffon dress and a matching mink scarf. Her cheeks were flushed, like a new bride, and her subtle make up was applied absolutely sparingly, but it wasn’t even about that. There was a glow from deep within her and I could tell that Ruby was stunned by her too. It had been a long time since my sister had dressed up and I was somewhat taken aback by how much she looked like our Mama at that very moment. She smiled at us and immediately went forward to Rubeena, greeting her affectionately as the two of them held onto each other for what seemed like eternity.

Honestly, it was just so emotional watching them that I couldn’t help but tear up again at the sentimentality of it. Some words were extremely difficult to say. Their emotions were overwhelming. Yet it was human…. Human amongst humans. This was such a huge step for both of them. It was such a courageous decision that would bring so much of sweetness, with just a dash of aching nostalgia.

What a test they had both endured. These feelings and hopes and dreams amongst the anguish of the past… it was something that I couldn’t quite place my finger on. The truth is that we don’t realize how  the system of Allah works. That He, in His great wisdom, tries us and tests us and puts us through pains because that exactly is how we will earn our status and deserve a beautiful Jannah..

And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but glad tidings to the patient. Who, when disaster strikes them, say, ‘Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return.’ Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the [rightly] guided.” [Al-Quran 2:155-157]

And of course, the silver lining. The stillness within the storm. The rainbow amidst the rain. And glad tidings to the Saabireen... The ones who are beautifully patient. Who withstand the tests of life with not a word of complaint or bitterness.

And yes, life is painful at times. Life hurts. Losses are painful. But this is the cycle of life. Difficulties and tests and trials are meant to polish us and build our bond with our Creator. Difficulties and tests are the very thing that brings us to the ultimate… because that’s when Allah gives us the reward. That’s when He lets it be known that there is a recompense for the patient ones.  Glad tidings for the ones who withstand the hurt and the pain with patience… and are able to say that they’ve truly been humbled by it all..

And just as I turned away again to leave the two of them alone to reminisce over all things amazing and unprecedented that had happened in the past… it was at that precise moment what the awaited message from Jameel that made my heart race just a little faster came through.

All Done, it said.

They accept, we accept, and we’re on our way back.

And right after came the clip of what we had all been waiting to hear. Being a small masjid that we couldn’t pick up on the receiver, what we were awaiting was the actual recording that held the words that sealed the deal for them both.

“Nakahtuha wa Qabiltuha…”

It was Khalid’s voice, emphasized in his rigid pronunciation that rang out and I glanced at my sister as she heard it, knowing for sure that this would bring on the waterworks all over again.

I moved forward to pull her and Rubeena both into the fiercest hug I could muster, ignoring the stare of my pretty 3-year-old niece who was looking at us crossly and wondering what all the fuss and tears were about. And it was such a wonderful feeling because even though we had no idea what today held for us, how everything had worked out so beautifully was just beyond everyone’s comprehension. I’ve always heard that when you do things the proper way, Allah just opens His doors of mercy, and everything falls into place. I had yet to see it before now, but this was exactly what was meant. The ease that everyone just accepted what Khawlah wanted. How their preferred Maulana was in town to perform the nikah. How everything just worked out so simply without even any exertion on anyone’s part. It was absolute beauty.

Emotions, though… they were so tricky at times. Of course, as I pulled her aside for a quick chat earlier I had to ask her how her in-laws felt about it. What was so amazing about Khawlah was that they were the first people she had called when Khalid had suggested it.

”My mother-in-law was emotional,” she said quietly. Of course. It was an extremely emotional time. “But she said she will see me tomorrow.”

I smiled with relief.

”What about your father-in-law?” I asked kindly.

”My father-in-law is pretty much ecstatic,” she finished off, giving a smile. “Aadam was so much like him…”

I smiled, knowing that Aadam was the type of person who would have wanted Khawlah to be happy again too and that of course, Khalid was someone that held much promise for my sister. Somehow, even as a young girl, he had served to be the distraction and the conviction that her fierce little mind would tune to. It just happened that even back then, when Khawlah would feel the pains of life wearing her down, all it took was an afternoon with Khalid and she would come back home in the most amazing of moods.

And then of course, all it took was a few minutes before car doors outside had sounded and Rubeena once again started with her frantic to and fro-ing as she got three platters of snacks and sweets ready to be served. I could hear men in the passage and I peeped out to glimpse Jameel, Ahmed and Khalid chatting about plans for later. Khadijah had already ran toward them, and as Yunus threw her up in the air and handed her over to Khalid at his request, I felt like my heart was bursting with joy for her because although she was always spoilt by my brother and father, there was just something special about Khalid that she related to and loved so much.

And as I felt her behind me, I turned to Khawlah and gently wiped away the smudged make up from the corner of her darkly-rimmed eyes. Her face was bright with excitement and as I kissed her cheek lightly. I was in absolute awe of this new beginning that would most certainly bring so much of joy for her and their new daughter. Aadam’s wish. The light that he had left behind for Khawlah, and we will definitely always remember him by.

And as my heart settled into a lull of contentment, it was just at that very moment when my eye caught sight of our dear Aunty Radiyyah who found her way in from outside, pausing to greet her son affectionately, and almost as if in a hurry, her slightly strained walk slowing her down as she made  her way through to the back of kitchen.

I stepped back to watch from afar because this moment was a moment I was waiting for. This was going to be something that I was going to definitely not miss.

And as she caught sight of Aunty Radiyyah, I could see that there was nothing more that Khawlah wanted to do except silently bury her face in her shoulder, because there really were no other words… but Aunty Radiyyah merely kissed her forehead, held her hand briefly and as I wondered what was going on, she was already on her way to the other side of the kitchen when I realized just how beautiful this woman was, inside and out. It was the fiercest embrace yet, and as the two of them tearfully sank into each other’s arms, it was the most emotional thing so far when she comforted Rubeena as she sobbed away once again. Khawlah made her way up to them too and with another heartfelt exchange, it all just ended up being a blabbering of heartfelt emotions that felt like coming home. For that moment, everything seemed to fit together again, as they held on to each other, almost for dear life.

Bittersweet were the moments of life that were embroidered with sorrow yet intertwined with such immensely comforting joys… where the clarity of Allah’s promise would come through.. where only His words could describe the astounding ease that comes after so much of hardship..

“Barakallah Wa Lakuma wa Barakah … Alaykuma… Wa Jama’ah Bayna Ku Ma Fee Khair…”

And as she entered with those words, a beautiful elder lady who as I looked at her, I instantly realized who she was. Her Arabic was fluent and spectacular, and as she said it, my heart just contracted at the sentiment of it all.

“May Allah bless everything for you two..
And shower His blessings upon the two of you…
And may He bring you together…
In everything that is good…”

Oh, how I prayed for an eternity of happiness for them. My heart still ached for her every unfulfilled desire to be fulfilled. I yearned for her that she would have chosen the best once again. For her spouse to be the most soothing coolness of her eyes. Oh, how I desperately wished for her marriage to be a one of innumerable blessings, more than she had ever envisioned before…

And yes, it wasn’t going to be the most perfect. Sometimes relationships that start afresh were so much easier. Maybe the task that Khawlah and Khalid were heading for was somewhat arduous. This journey of sorts… it would be no walk in the park. Maybe every first wouldn’t really be the first. There might be struggles. Hopes. Expectations filled and dashed.

And yes, although I believed sincerely in fate and Taqdeer, I also believed that we do, ultimately choose those things that we were fated to choose. This love that she chose… the love that triumphed over any other feeling you could ever encompass… the love that was meant not for now.., but for eternity… that love was far greater than anything that could ever come in their way.

Love for Allah’s pleasure… which in this case was a love that was based on many many years of sharing hopes and dreams and appreciation of Allah’s creation that went far beyond just the imagination of a little child… It was something that some people will live their whole lives, never to reach it. It’s a place where fairytales are real and happily ever after does exist. Where every piece within them that was once broken, is now seemingly fixed. It’s a place where they could finally finish that beautiful story that had begun all those years ago… and give it a brand new life in a brand new context…

“Hey babe.”

I turned to look at my husband as he watched me. Jameel behind me with a sleeping Muhammed on his shoulder. I planted a kiss on my sons cheek and glanced up at my husband.

”Why the tears?” He asked softly, looking a bit worried.

I smiled as he frowned, contemplating as he leaned next to me, watching me from the corner of his eye.

”Its happened,” I sighed happily, leaning on his shoulder.

“I’m so happy for your sister.”

I nodded and brushed away the tears. I was too. I really was.

“Make Duaa for my sister too,” he said softly.

I swallowed and glanced at him. He didn’t talk about it much but I knew that he desperately wanted his sister to settle down soon. I really wished she would too..

”Amazing how Allah gives us second chances, isn’t it?”

Jameel smiled almost knowingly .

”I think we all deserve a second chance,” he said softly as he pecked me on the forehead, and I couldn’t help but feel that there was a hidden meaning behind his words.

Ah yes, we certainly did.

Sometimes we just need another chance to make things work. Sometimes we need some time to prove ourselves again. Sometimes love too, gives us another chance to have a go at it.

The overall fitrah of this world is weaved with exhaustion. And no matter how far we have come, there are always some extremely difficult words to say, even in the best situations.

Sometimes we wish to sleep so we can forget. Sometimes we wish to forget so we can sleep. But the thing about life is that when we are able to change our focus and look at a world that’s beyond now… then nothing, not even the hurt that burdened you, the anguish that broke you… not the loss that left you with a hole in your gut.. not even the aching pangs in the middle of the darkest of nights or the screams that are trapped within your soul…

Nothing will deter you.  And all that hoping and overlooking and focusing on what’s meant to last is so worth it because at the end of it all, a time will come when nothing but the Aakhirah will occupy your world. Everything that you want now… everything that you are consuming yourself with at present, and everything that you are working toward for this world… everything will end and cease and become extinct.

Every new becomes old. Every novelty will change to monotony. Every joy will come to pass. When you truly understand that with Duniyaa, there is always a time limit to everything, but this journey of love that you embark on… this Jannah that you build as a couple with is an investment that will await you even long after everything else in this transitory world has been done and dusted.

When we turn our gaze towards Jannah, we will never be disappointed. Because that’s exactly how we pictured it, knowing that right then, even though Aadam’s leaving us had shot straight through our hearts, the beautiful Jannah that we were certain that Allah had prepared for him was a gift more precious than anything we could ever desire…

And so it happened again… amidst a life that held much uncertainty, but with a deep knowledge that even with every ache and pain in this life, there is an eternal life that was going to not only obliterate, but supercede this one…

No matter what had hurt us or happened to bring us here… the building of this eternal love was a lesson for every single one of us to take…

---

Dearest Readers,

Shukran for the direction… I will definitely try to fulfill those million requests *just kidding*… *ducks behind couch* 

On a more serious note, I really appreciate everyone reading and commenting and even fearing how they will miss these characters… honestly they have become somehow like people I know but the bonus is that we can always go back and read about them when we are feeling a little nostalgic ❤️

Please tolerate my delayed posts, I just want to round this up the best way I can and try and make it a good ending… InshaAllah 

Much Love,

A xx

Just a little something I came across on the Sunnah of Tolerance..

We

How many times have we blatantly disobeyed Allah Ta‘ala, yet how many of His invaluable bounties do we still enjoy? Perhaps years have passed with some people failing to perform even the fardh salaah, yet Allah Ta‘ala still feeds them, clothes them, allows them to enjoy good health, and if they raise their hands and cry to Him in earnest, begging forgiveness, then He will not only readily forgive them but even erase every record of the sin!
Hence, let us resolve to try and show people tolerance, just as we enjoy tolerance from Allah Ta‘ala. If we tolerate the harm of people for the sake of Allah Ta‘ala, He will reward us greatly, in this world and the next.

Tolerance – a beautiful Sunnah 

Allah Taa’ala loves tolerance.
Sayyiduna Abdullah bin Abbas RA narrates that Nabi SAW said to the
leader of the Abdul Qays tribe: “You possess two traits that are
beloved to Allah, tolerance and deliberation (non – impulsive).”
Sahih Muslim Vol 1 Pg 35

How easy to practice …

#revivetheSunnahofHonouringElders

#revivetheSunnahofGiving

#revivetheSunnahofMiswaak 

#revivetheSunnahofAkhlaaq 

#revivetheSunnahofKinship

#revivetheSunnahofhonouringguests

#revivetheSunnahofdrinkingwater 

#revivetheSunnahofeating 

#revivetheSunnahDuaas

#revivetheSunnahDuaa

Twitter: @ajourneyjournal

#revivetheSunnahofhonouringguests

#revivetheSunnahofdrinkingwater 

#revivetheSunnahofeating 

#revivetheSunnahDuaas

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