Epilogue: Extreme Expectations

Bismihi Ta’ala


Whether it’s work, family, life be or friends… the reality of this world is that you will find yourself on the brink of insanity at least once. This is because the world is created such that when you have Allah, no storm is too overwhelming. If you don’t have Him, you will get knocked over by even the slightest of a breeze. 

There are men created by Allah Ta’ala who are so wholeheartedly attached to him that even Jannah, with all its bounties and eternal bliss cannot distract them from the contemplation of Allah. How then can the temporal world engage their attention? 

The thing was, to be those kind of people, we had to work at it. We had to keep reminding. Remembering. We have to keep having faith  that the One who writes our story is free from any imperfections or mistakes. That His knowledge surpasses ours and that with His Divine foresight, He has prepared a future for us that will be the answer to every Duaa. 

Duaa. Oh yes, Duaa. How our prayer can penetrate beyond the heavens was beyond me. How easy it was to just raise your hands to the one, and see the doors of His mercy opening up… I still couldn’t comprehend. And I knew this much. By Allah, He will never ignore your prayer. I knew this much before that was what she had always taught me… even as a little kid. My mother was an inspiration. Always and forever. Whenever I would look at her, all I would ever see in her was faith. Immense reliance on her Allah.

And even as I sat with her for a few minutes before the Waleema rush would start, the same smile I always knew played on her lips, but there was a deep contentment within her that was long awaited. I had barely had a chance to speak to her properly and it was no wonder…. everything in the past day had just happened so fast.

“There had been so many Duaas,” she said quietly. “So many hopes and wishes. I knew that in the end my Allah wouldn’t let me down… of course He wouldn’t. Look at how wonderfully everything worked out…”

It was just another one of His immense favours on us. Immensely magnificent favours that I couldn’t even comprehend. 

“What a rush,” she smiled, shaking her head. “It took you long enough and then it was all fast forward, huh? What’s the plans from here, handsome?”

I smiled back, placing my hand on hers. I had to prepare my mother for what I wanted to do. I still had dreams. Things I wanted to achieve for myself. It was hard to pull the plug on it all…

“I’m not sure,” I said. “Maybe we’ll go to Egypt. Maybe we’ll go somewhere else. Start afresh. It may be difficult to start a life here where everything is lingering…”

I trailed off and her face fell. Besides teaching Deen, after all, I had been asked to go back to Egypt and continue my grandfathers legacy. There was much for me still back there. He had taught me about engineering and everything I knew to get his business going again..

“Don’t take my beautiful Khawlah so far away from me,” she whispered, holding onto my hand tighter. “Things didn’t always go the way I expected but she was always close by. Please.”

My mother’s charcoal eyes were riddled with worry as I processed what this meant. After all these years, my wife had somehow become the daughter that she never had. Since I had left, there had been a gap filled by the girl that I had always set my sights on.

And no, I wasn’t offended by her remark. There was an inkling of admiration in her voice as she said it and there was no doubt that she was right. I smiled at the irony, though, because it was just yesterday when the guy at the Masjid had made me feel like I had done the most admirable thing on earth by marrying a widow with a child. I didn’t see it that way. For me, I was the honored one. He didn’t know what Khawlah was worth. He didn’t that he was that he was way off track.

Of course, trust my mother to put it into the correct perspective for me. What I understood was that a husband had a special place with a wife. I knew that life was not always as we planned. Sometimes the processes and layouts were a little boggled up, but I was prepared to do anything to try and live up to what was expected from me.

And I supposed it was coincidence but when Maulana Umar had unashamedly praised him and said that Aadam was another Mus’ab of our time, I couldn’t help but see a parallel when he mentioned it. The lessons of that story were way to deep not to miss…

A family member of Nabi (SAW), Hamnah RA was married to Mus’ab ibn Umair (RA) who was one of the his most devoted companions. And as the story goes, His mother, Khunas bint Malik was extremely wealthy to the point of giving him the most luxurious lifestyle…

The Prophet SAW commented on this long after prophethood, when he said: “I never saw in Makkah anyone who was better looking, or who had better garments or more refined comforts than Mus’ab ibn Umair.”

Yet when he embraced Islam, his mother tried hard to persuade him to rescind his faith and go back to old pagan beliefs, but he adamantly refused. She stopped giving him anything, but he did not care for such luxuries. He remained one of the Prophet’s SAW most faithful companions.
Hamnah (RA) gave him a daughter named Zaynab.

When the Prophet (peace be upon him) and his companions immigrated to Madinah, Hamnah RA and her husband were among the early immigrants, as were the rest of her Muslim family. They were all devoted servants of Islam. The Quraysh, the people of Makkah, launched several attacks on Madinah to try to subdue the newly established Muslim state. Hamnah was one of the blessed women who went with the Muslim army to nurse the wounded and give water to the thirsty.
In the Battle of Uhud, the Muslims suffered a heavy defeat, with 70 of their people killed. She was with the army, but she was not aware who were killed. She saw the Prophet soon after the battle and he told her to endure her loss with patience.

She asked hi
m whom he meant.

His reply: “Your maternal uncle, Hamzah.”

She said: “To God we all belong and to Him shall we all return. May God forgive him and bestow mercy on him. He is blessed as a martyr in heaven.”

The Prophet (SAW) again told her to bear her loss with patience.
When she asked him whom he meant, he replied: “Your brother Abdullah.”

She repeated what she said about her uncle.

Yet the Prophet (SAW) told her of another loss, and on her enquiry he mentioned her husband, Mus’ab ibn Umair.

This time, she screamed with grief, saying: “Woe is me! Oh, for my grief!”

The Prophet (SAW) upon this, commented: “A husband has a unique position with his wife no one else can fill.”

The Prophet (SAW) asked her afterwards why she panicked.
She said: “Messenger of God, SAW, I remembered that his children are now orphaned and I panicked.”

And who would blame her? It was a loss that was unparalleled. Her kids were still young as Mus’ab was probably about only 35 when he was martyred. The Prophet (SAW) prayed for her and them, mentioning in his prayer that God may grace them with His kindness and give them generously.

Hamnah RA later married Talhah ibn Ubaydillah RA, one of the ten companions of the Prophet (SAW) whom he favored with glad tidings of Jannah.

What was noted about him was that Talhah RA treated his stepchildren most kindly. Of course, he too was one of the beloved companions of the Prophet (SAW). 

And I found the story simply amazing because of course, I did hope that one day I wish that I too will hold that elevated rank where many would smile back and remember me too with so much of admiration.

“You do have some big shoes to fill,” Ummi said again, winking at me me now. “But I’m sure you’ll manage to.”

I shook my head. I wasn’t aspiring for that. It wasn’t about an insecurity but I knew very well that a husband will always hold a special place with his wife and I didn’t resent it at all.

”I’m not too sure…” I said softly. 

“You’re a special boy,” she murmured, nodding as she looked ahead. “Always have been. So sincere. You have something about you that draws people to you and I know I can’t give myself credit, but you have an amazing gift and I’m so glad that your Quran put you on track and you finally found your calling…”

It took a long time but even in my darkest hour, all I had to do was remember the moments when I had been inspired by the words of the Quran. His words. When I was anchored by its weight. When I was awakened to the reality of the one verse that always humbled me and brought me back down to earth.

It was the one thing I really cherished what my father had drilled into me… the pains of a parent for their child are often underrated. Every bit of sweat and pain was never forgotten- how he persisted with me through the grueling years that it took to become a Hafidh…. It was my greatest accomplishment yet… even more than the recent few years that had passed me by.

It was a moment when everything within me had come to a halt. When the chase had stopped. When reality was brought to the fore.

Has the time not come for those who have believed that their hearts should become humbly submissive at the remembrance of Allah and what has come down of the truth? (Quran – 57:16)

Indeed, the chase had to end. We continue on the pursuit of this life but we will never truly understand our purpose unless we open our eyes and realize that there has to be an end. A halt. A stop for chase and an awakening to what is really important.

And for me, the time had come. In fact, it was long overdue.

“I’m so proud of you,” she whispered as I held onto her. “Your father too, you know.”

I smiled. My father. He truly was one of a kind. It had taken years but to live up to his expectations and after so long it was like what I had been chasing had finally been sought. Somehow, through this fulfilment I had been released.

And it was so strange but my parents were stark opposites. Where my mother had always been warm and cajoling, my father had a streak of rigidity that pierced straight through the rebelliousness of my youth. It was the reason my mother had sent me away to Egypt, but also the reason why I had come back; so far from where I had strayed in my youth. 

Ummi was looking ahead and it seemed out of nowhere a smile suddenly dawned on her face, and as I followed her gaze, I already knew why.

“We’ll talk later,” she said softly. “For now, I think someone special is waiting for you.” 

I looked over to her and immediately smiled, because it was just natural for my heart to contract slightly as I saw her.

And I could hardly believe that it was my wife because in just a day almost everything had changed. The thing was that only when I had come back to hear that Khawlah was interested in the house, only then did I realize that there might still be hope.

And of course, the past feelings were far-fetched and ill-based but how amazing was it that the high that came with a new and Halaal love had somehow surpassed it all?

That was why when I left my mother for that moment, I knew that there was only one thing that I could say for sure. Of course, why not make her happy? I had gotten everything I had wanted anyway. 

”Don’t worry, Ums,” I assured her. “The topic is closed. You won’t have to worry about us going far away. I’m  going to ask her what she wants. Whatever Khawlah wants to do from here, I’m okay with…”

My mother smiled in immense relief and I knew that for now, I had fulfilled her request and put her mind at ease. And as Khawlah waved to my mother from where she was and I walked over to the entrance of the front garden, the look on her face took me slightly aback.

“Is everything okay?” I asked, pausing to look at her anxious face. “You look worried. Where’s Khadijah?”

She looked back at me but gave a small smile. It was enough to erase my fears.

”I have a question for you.”

I grinned, relieved that nothing major had happened to upset her.

“You have a question for me?!” I asked, a little amused as I tried to lighten the mood.

“I’m serious, Khalid,” she said quietly, her smile fading. “It’s something that’s been on my mind…”

”Okay, okay,” I conceded, reaching for her hand. “I’m serious too. What’s up, lovely?”

She took a deep breath and averted her gaze.

”I’m thinking of inviting Hannah. Tonight.”

We had spoken about Hannah the night before. We had spoken about a lot the night before. About life. About our childhood. Even about Aadam. The whispers shared and the dreams that had been shattered. The Duaas that I had made for her and how she had spoken to Allah about me. The ambitions that we both had and the plan that Allah had that we could still not conceive…

It was an amazing adventure that had just  begun for us. A gift that Allah had sent through His mercy. My best friend and the girl I had come to love with all my heart…

Hmmm,” I replied, pulling at my beard. That was a tough one. “And her mother?”

“I would have,” she answered, “but Hannah says that she’s abroad. Chasing some rich old guy, she says. I don’t know if she’ll ever change but I do make Duaa for Hannah’s sake, that she does. She could really use some support and her mothers sanity…”

It was a lot to digest.

Wow,” I said quietly, my mind a little overwhelmed at her at that moment. After everything she had been through… everything that woman had put her through… she was really something to even consider it.

Khawlah’s strength and resilience stood out now more than ever. It was the thing that I had always admired and loved about her.

”Listen Khawlah,” I said after a few seconds. “You know you don’t have to? They’re not exactly family…”

”I’d grown to like Hannah,” she said quietly. “Even after everything she had done. Aadam had encouraged treating her well. It’s not her fault that her life was a little messed up. Maybe she made some bad choices. Maybe she just didn’t know what she was getting herself into…”

I nodded. Of course. 

”It’s completely your call,” I said, giving her a small smile. I wasn’t even sure if she had heard me. Her mind was still busy as I watched her… so deep in thought.

“I just don’t understand,” she finally said, glancing at me. “When Aunty Nas was married to my father, he gave her everything… but she still wasn’t happy. How much more do you have to have to be satisfied?”

To me, it was quite simple. 

”It’s not about that,” I said quietly. “The world is designed in such a way that even if you’re drowning in millions, your only source of completion can ever be Him. Maybe she just never had that…”

”You’re right,” she replied softly, her expression immediately easing as she reached for my hand with a smile. “And that was always what they were missing. I’m so glad that Hannah is finally finding her way…”

”And maybe you were the one who showed it to her?” I suggested, knowing well that my wife had the ability to shift even the most rigid of hearts. 

”I don’t know,” she said softly, shaking her head in disagreement. “I just wonder… How some people go through so much, you know? So many trials and hardships… and they have to go endure so, so much… and yet there seems to be no relief… she lost so much. Her home, her daughter, her mother, her dignity…”

I watched her expression change a she spoke, a little taken aback at how personally she was taking this. Her striking features were riddled with worry as she said it, almost as if she was waiting for some ease from this constant pain. Almost as if she was waiting for someone to offer her some relief…

And I already knew her so well that I knew that I had to be the one to remind her of what Allah’s plan is, and always will be.

“That’s the arrangement that Allah’s made with her, right love?” I reminded her softly as her eyes searched mine for some sort of hope. Something to cling onto. “It just so happens that sometimes our Rabb makes the most spectacular arrangements for us to attain Jannah. Nothing… and I mean nothing at all,  goes undetected, don’t you worry…”

She smiled, and it was as if all the burdens that she had held within her heart were completely relieved. Tests and trials were indeed a favour for the believer…

”I truly do hope that she finds exactly what she’s been looking for all this time,” I said quietly.

And as she continued to smile at me as if every weight had been lifted from her heavy shoulders for that moment, it was such a rare and amazing moment that we shared right then and I so badly wanted to savor. And even though all these years had gone by, there was still a part of me that existed within her, and a part of her that lived in me. There was so much that I had still yet to say but it just so happened that at that instant a slightly high-pitched voice sounded from just outside the gate and my wife’s head whipped around in shock, almost as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

Her eyes widened as I cocked my head to one side knowingly.

”Wait,” I said, narrowing my eyes. “Don’t tell me. It’s Nusaybah, right?”

She smiled in agreement, because I knew that there was only one answer and I was so happy that her friend had made it for our big day. Of course, it was the one thing she had mentioned to me about Nusaybah. That she really wanted her to be here and had missed her so much. 

And of course I had to let her go because I knew that her friend being here would be the highlight of the day..

Yes. I would let her be. We had our whole lives ahead of us. There was so much I had been given… so much I didn’t anticipate that had surprised me, but the rule of this world was not that everything would go exactly according to our plan…

The thing is, nothing in nature lives for itself. Rivers don’t drink their own water. Trees don’t eat their own fruit. The sun doesn’t shine for itself. Even the flower does not bloom for itself.

Every system has its course. Every day will end. Every sunrise will end with a sunset. Lives may cease. Fears may overwhelm us. Losses may crush us. But after it all, after the pieces of our hearts have shattered, the One who made that very heart will heal it again.

Nature’s rule is that we live for each other too. We love each other. We share with each other. We hang onto hopes for each other too. When we give and love for the sake of Allah, everything in life takes on a different meaning. We smile. We bear… We sacrifice. That’s what real love was. 

Verily, the lover

submits to his beloved.

When a person falls in love

with someone,

submission and obedience

to the beloved becomes his habit

and second nature.

Disobedience to the beloved

becomes as

hard as is unwilling obedience

to one whom one does not love.’

When you love Allah, His obedience becomes the only thing that matters. When you love Allah, you see His hand in everything that comes through for you.  When you love Allah, you see provisions rising from sources you never imagined. 

Whoever is with Allah, his weakness will not harm him, and whoever is distant from Allah, his strength will never benefit him.

I do not know the measure of time or the rate at which it flowed past me. I don’t understand the weight of a moment or the duration of a year. All I know and can comprehend of the mathematics of a life that Allah had blessed me with, were the times that I’ve seen a miracle come through for me countless times in His Divine plan. It was extreme expectation, but for Allah, indeed, there is nothing that is impossible.

Expecting the best from Allah is the secret ingredient to happiness. 

So, I ask…

What then are your thoughts about the Lord of the worlds?” (Quran 37:87)


Apologies for my delayed post… I do hope I can manage to pen one more future post at least but my weeks have been crazy…

Okay, that said, will I be forgiven if I don’t post again?  *ducks*

Much Love 

A xx

P.S. please tolerate me a little longer and make special Duaa for me in these big days.


Sayyiduna Ali رضي الله عنه narrates: Nabee صلى الله عليه وسلم said regarding Muharram:(as part of a lengthy hadith)

“In it there is a day that Allah accepted the taubah (repentance) of a people, and in which He accepts the repentance of other people.”

(Tirmidhi 741)

Haafiz Ibnu Rajab Hambali (رحمه الله تعالى) has quoted many statements that support the fact that this day refers to the day of ‘Aashuraa. He thereafter says: “Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) saying ‘He will forgive others on this day’ is an encouragement for people to once again make sincere taubah on the day of ‘Aashuraa. This statement also gives hope that Allah Ta‘ala will accept the taubah of the one who repents from his sins, just as He had forgiven the previous nation.”
(Lataaiful Ma‘aarif pg. 113 – 115)

Tolerance – a beautiful Sunnah 

Allah Taa’ala loves tolerance.
Sayyiduna Abdullah bin Abbas RA narrates that Nabi SAW said to the
leader of the Abdul Qays tribe: “You possess two traits that are
beloved to Allah, tolerance and deliberation (non – impulsive).”
Sahih Muslim Vol 1 Pg 35

How easy to practice …











Twitter: @ajourneyjournal








22 thoughts on “Epilogue: Extreme Expectations

  1. It was absolutely beautiful mashallah
    .. do try one more post dear authoress.. pretty please.. just little glimpse of all in their future🤗😗🤩

    Mashallah most inspirational story.. may Allah reward you immensely..aameen

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Wow !! I have no words for this post and the last one.
    The lessons , the story , the emotions !
    Jazakillah Khair 💞
    Can’t wait to have one more post ! ☺️

    Liked by 3 people

  3. mashaAllah!!! it was wonderful, it has made my week, and hoping this will keep me tuned up this whole week… actually it always is motivating….
    true, you live with content, when you love anything for Allah and hate anything for Allah…
    Jazakumullahu khairan kaseerah for the post…
    requesting for duas

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I am not sure why I cannot comment on the final post but……

    Wow!!! JAZAKALLAH KHAIR soo much for all the posts all the lessons all the hope that the story inspired it was truly beautiful …we shall miss you💕💕💕 .all the best wishes for your future and we hope to hear from you sometime….perhaps to tell us who yunus married 😊


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