Bismihi Ta’ala
Mohsina Part 108
”I can’t believe that you are here.”
I really couldn’t. It was so amazing to have Maahira here and even more amazing to see the smile on her face when I met her.
She was blissfully happy and I was so happy for my friend.
She smiled and draped her pin free scarf around her face as she shrugged.
“Well I wasn’t going to get married without you there,” she said simply. “And if Chunks wants me then he had to step up and meet the criteria. All I asked for was a simple Nikah back home.”
She had a cheeky smile on her pretty face and I grinned back.
”And you have outdone yourself with simplicity!” I exclaimed, a little taken aback about Maahira being so calm and easy going about her functions. “Is this really my best friend… the London girl form Jozi who had all these fancy ideas and posts or are you some kind of fraud who is trying to take her place?!”
I was actually floored.
Despite Maahira being the queen of trends and fashion, I was shocked to hear that everything for her function was set to be simple and absolutely un-flashy. She would be dressed simply and tastefully. There would be no fancy stations or decor. She would be attending in an abaya, and the menu was scrapped seven times before they found something she sounded simple enough to make her happy.
”It’s all him,” she sighed happily, beaming with pride. “He insisted that we just keep it simple and since he’s found a place in the suburbs, we know that we could definitely use the extra money for the furnishings there. He just wants everyone who matters to me there. He is actually so simple and easy going that I can’t believe that he wanted the entire men’s function in the mosque, before my mother intervened. You could imagine what she said to him. He called me a few minutes after she spoke to him to say he is happy with whatever my family decides. They’re not even having a Waleemah. They said that a braai at the country club will do, and the next day when we leave, they are taking food for the the needy. Amazing right?”
”Im in awe,” I said quietly. “He is a dream, Maahi, and I never thought I’d see the day that I saw you in love.”
I flush see the blush rise in her cheeks as I said it and she rolled her eyes at me.
“I never in a million years thought that I’d fall for someone like him,” she said with a simple shrug. “His entire family is just so easy going. I think because they’re originally from some farm place, they’re used to everything being laid back. It’s exactly what I needed to calm my fast paced lifestyle Mos. How Taqdeer works is so amazing…”
I nodded, smiling secretly because I knew what she meant.
Being friends for years meant that I knew that Chunks was definitely not the usual type of guy that Maahi was attracted to, but from everything she had told me about him, I knew that he would go to the end of earth for her. And always, the company you kept was what made how you were. Often, we are so immersed in this Duniyaa and it’s ornaments that our hearts become averse to the reality of Aakhirah. We become so absorbed in our day to day that we forget that life is not about all the frills and fancies that we think are so important. Maahira had been awakened to a simpler, more fulfilling lifestyle after meeting her future to husband. He was her perfect match because he brought he back to earth and I knew for sure that he was the type of guy who was going to lead her to her Jannah.
It was obvious. She was undeniably happy and absolutely calm about this entire week and I had a feeling that with any other guy my friend would have been going out of her mind. He was just the type of guy to help her find her calm.
“Enough about me now,” she said, unfastening the tie on her bag and tossing me three pieces of clothing from one of her favourite UK stores. “I bought you these. And this is for my baby. I just could not resist. I just can’t believe he is gone so big. I’m missing out on everything back home.”
I smiled as she tossed me a little suit that seemed absolutely perfect for Zaid and I cooed appreciatively as I studied it. It was the cutest thing ever, and I almost wished that I could put it on for him now. He had fallen asleep on the way here and was sleeping peacefully in the next room.
“How is your star husband,” she asked with a smirk because she knew that he had been stepping up a bit recently. “Is he still obsessing over you?”
I thought about the past two weeks with Hamzah and although it was amazing, I couldn’t help thinking about Rabias words about him messing around. The thing with Rabia was that I wasn’t sure what to believe any more, and although Hamzah was acting strange, I refused to believe that he was sneaking around with someone else behind my back.
“Seems like it,” I said absently, not wanting to tell Maahi about Rabias antics just before she was going to get married. It wasn’t fair to her to get her all riled up. “He asked me to move out of my parents so he could come every day and spend more time at the flat. I don’t know what’s going on with him and Zubair, Jameela’s husband. It seemed like he didn’t want him to know. The two of them have a strange friendship- I feel like they may be angry at each other for some reason.”
I had taken off my abaya and it was starting to get a bit warmer in the room, so I pulled off the loose jersey dress that I wore, barely noticing Maahira’s eyes widen as I did.
She sucked in her breath as she stared, her eyebrows shooting to the ceiling as she looked at me questioningly.
It was only then that I realised what I had done and I smacked my hand to my forehead and closed my eyes.
Oh gosh.
“Mos,” she whimpered, and I swallowed nervously because even though I couldn’t hide this from her forever, I didn’t mean to expose myself so inadvertently. “Tell me you’re not just gone fat.”
I smiled again, shrugging as she came forward to hesitantly touch and politely ogle the baby bump that was now popping out in the most acceptable place. For now. It was the cutest thing right now, and even though I was a bit worried about how big I may get, I loved the feeling of having a little life living inside of me.
”I meant to tell-,” I said softly, but I didn’t even finish my sentence before Maahira pulled me into a fierce hug and kissed both my cheeks, her eyes bright and shiny as she looked at me.
”You’ve made me the happiest bride-to-be!” She exclaimed, not even letting me finish my apology for not telling her all this time. “This is amazing! How far are you? Do guy know what baby it is? Did you go for a scan? What did Hamzah say? Oh my gawd, he must be over the moon! Tell me all the details!
The questions didn’t stop for a few minutes as she hounded me with twenty one questions and I gladly answered them because I felt so bad for not telling her before this.
“I still can’t believe this,” she said shaking her head. “Here I was, believing those sly words you had told me when you said that your marriage wasn’t about romance. You had us all convinced that it was all one big arrangement for Zaid, didn’t you?!”
I smiled, remembering being so uptight when everyone made a big deal about me taking Zaid along for our first night together. It was as if it was some kind of sin.
“Romance is overrated,” I said with a shrug.
“But Nabi (Sallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) was so romantic with his wives,” Maahira said with a smirk. “And Hamzah looks like he is all about the Sunnah.”
She winked and I shook my head at her.
She was right about the Sunnah. Nabi (sallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) was the most romantic.
Romantic lovers like to lean on each other’s shoulders or lap. Doing this brings a state of calmness and contentment, and I remembered from the narrations that nabi Muhammad (Sallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) used to put his head on Aisha’s (RA) lap and recite the Qur’an.
Narrated by Aisha:
“The Prophet (peace be upon him) used to lean on my lap and recite Quran while I was in menses.” (Al-Bukhari)
I grinned and nodded because Maahi was a bride-to-be so to give her some false illusions was okay. I knew that Chunks was probably the romantic type and I hoped that he romanced her socks (and other things) off throughout their marriage. Sometimes those things were required to keep the spark alive.
“Is Hamzah looking after you though?” She asked with a concerned look. “He left you at the flat, and he’s still not back home? Doesn’t he want to move home yet? I think that my friend needs some TLC.”
Her tone softened as she watched me, knowing everything that Hamzah and I had gone through recently and obviously concerned for my well- being.
“He’s taking care of me in the best way he can,” I said softly. “I think he may move back soon… but I wanted to go home too. Nani was getting a bit overwhelming and I can’t hide from them forever. Speaking of him, you think those two are okay downstairs?”
It was the first time that Hamzah had met Ismail’ and I had a feeling that the two of them had hit it off because there was no word from either of them for over an hour.
”I’m sure they’re fine,” Maahira said with a smile. “I’m just missing Zaid- can we wake him up please?”
And I was about to say fine but Zaid didn’t need to be woken up because he was already stirring when Maahira went to check in on him. He wasn’t in the greatest of moods but she made the most of him while we spent some time together that day, knowing that the week was going to be too crazy to have some alone time. we caught up with all the best bits, and Maahira told me about Ismail’s family who loved him to death. I could kind of relate because Hamzah was also a favourite and with Rabia being the way she was, I just hoped that Maahira wouldn’t have to deal with any annoying female in-laws.
It was a few hours later when we finally headed home that Sunday night. Hamzah had only good things to say about Ismail but the two of them had made plans to meet later that week and spend some time together.
And I knew that it was going to be a busy week. The days whizzed by that week as we prepared for the mendhi and the wedding and the one function in between, there wasn’t much time to see Hamzah that week. I was back at the flat for a few weeks and happy to be away from the prying eyes of Nani, but it also got lonely at night when he wasn’t there. Hamzah didn’t stay often and though it was me who had told him not to initially, I felt like he wasn’t staying for some reason that he didn’t want to mention to me.
Rabia’s words still replayed in my mind, but for the first time in weeks I was too busy to think about all the insinuations that came with her accusations. I was with Maahira the whole week, seeing to her and assisting her, and just making sure that everything she needed was seen to.
Maahira was insistent that everything be simple and small, but her mother was extremely insistent on going all out, so I served as the mediator and helped them find the middle ground. It was a tough task at times, but before we knew it the night before the nikah had approached and it kind of caught us off guard.
The house was buzzing with activity as I entered, wearing a loose fitting dress with Zaid in my arms. He was my armour for the night- great for concealing the pregnancy and diverting attention. I knew that I would be seeing plenty of old school friends and others that I knew from social media, so I had to be fully prepared for all the attention and awkward conversations I may have. My own wedding was sudden and not so big, so I knew that there would be questions I had to answer that I may not like.
“Mohsina!”
I blinked as I heard my name, preparing myself for the worst as I turned to see a cousin of Maahira’s that I didn’t always hit it off with. She wasn’t exactly my biggest fan and always had something cynical to say about me. It wasn’t that I particularly cared. I just didn’t really feel like humouring her. My nausea had come back with a vengeance that day and the last thing I wanted to do was excuse myself to go and puke.
”Hey Tasmiya,” I said sweetly, ignoring her questioning gaze as she looked at Zaid. “How are you keeping?”
”Is this your baby?”
She ignored my question while peering at Zaid, obviously enamoured by his chubby cuteness while he stuffed his fingers into his mouth.
“He’s mine now, yes,” I said, not wanting to explain myself but knowing that I should. Most people had heard what had happened with Layyanah. “This is Zaid. His parents passed away in a car accident. They were best friends with my husband and I.”
Her eyes widened for a second as realisation hit, and the reality of what had happened just over a year ago hit me. Some days I still couldn’t believe that Layyanah was gone, leaving me with this great responsibility of looking after her child.
Life. It was so fleeting and unexpected at times. One minute you’re getting married and expecting to live a happily ever after, and the next, you’re mourning the loss of someone who meant the world and more to you.
The fact that things could change in a moment made it so uncertain, and even though Allah shows it to us time and time again, we still don’t take heed.
“That was you,” Tasmiya said breathlessly, actually speechless for once in her life. “Wow. That was… sad.”
I nodded, because there wasn’t much else I could say. Seeing people who didn’t know much about what my life and what I had been through made me realise that the paths we go through in life are for us to take lesson.
Duniyaa was an array of emotions, with grief, with sadness, with loss that is coupled with joy and occasional bursts of overwhelming ecstasy. We don’t always understand that the tests we go through in life is for us to take cognisance of so that we may be more mindful of our deeds and our time.
And I wished that things were more clear cut. I wish that I knew what stood in store for the future for Hamzah and I. I sometimes wishes that I had a normal, uncomplicated life that didn’t hold any trials.
But Allah knew why he put certain people though tests. I had heard that sometimes Allah desires a certain status or level of Jannah for someone, and through the tests he puts one through, that person is raised, level by level.
It was an amazing concept that made me think about how merciful Allah is, that He still gives the opportunity to earn a lofty status when we barely deserve it.
SubhaanAllah.
In a hadith narrated by Ibn Abbas (May Allah be pleased with him) where the Prophet (peace be upon him) advises us: “Be mindful of Allah, and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah, and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, ask Allah; if you seek help, seek help from Allah…” [Tirmidhi]
And while meeting and greeting was on my agenda that night, meeting family and friends, and even some old colleagues and being there for Maahira as she fussed about her hair and make up, there came a point after some time where I settled into a corner and whipped out my phone because missing Hamzah was something that I couldn’t ignore anymore.
Seeing each other more often these days was bad for me, because now that I was busier, not seeing him felt like a void in my chest.
And I hated that I felt like that. I hated to be that girl who needed a man for fulfilment, or some kind of validation. I had always been fiercely independent, and needing Hamzah now was weird for me.
After everything we had been through, telling him this was still not the most natural thing. That’s why, seeing the message that was on my phone as I whipped out my lunch home caught me a little off guard as I read them in the midst of all the activity happening around me.
I miss you tonight.
It was a simple message but it made my heart skip a tiny beat as i wondered what inspired this affection. I knew we hadn’t been seeing each other that much this week but I was quite certain that everything would go back to normal after the wedding if nothing drastic happened in between.
And I knew that I shouldn’t, but I felt a teeny bit desperate, because of the way I craved his message and his attention.
He was my husband, but our situation wasn’t stable and I didn’t want to ever feel like I was left in the lurch and abandoned by him if anything had to pop out from the blue. Hammonds had been quiet for the last few weeks and I hadn’t heard a word from Faadil, but I knew that if the topic had to come up again, Hamzah would be the first the run for the hills. I also knew that if Rabia had to start some scandal, although I wouldn’t fall for it, Hamzah’s bullshit radar would detect nothing.
I sighed, finding myself wondering why I couldn’t be like one of those women who had such strong Tawakkul that no worry or concern of the future fazes them.
My mind had immediately gone to Saaliha as I thought, remembering our conversation the week before because it was the one thing that made me feel better after Rabia’s messages. I had been stressed and depressed at the thought of Hamzah actually sneaking around behind my back, but Saaliha’s words had been so kind and comforting that my heart was rested within the first ten minutes of that conversation as I had told her about what Rabia had insinuated.
“I know Hamzah,” she had said steadily. “He’s been my brother-in-law for nearly fifteen years and I when he’s into something, he doesn’t hold back. He’s so into you, and only you. There’s no one else that can ever occupy his heart like that, whether Rabia wants it, pushes for it or not. Don’t worry. Allah is watching out for you because He can see the patience that you are having in this and every situation, so don’t despair. No matter what, He is there for you.”
I had nodded silently because I knew that whatever I would have to say would be no comparison to her words.
She had gone through so much and yet she still had so much of faith and Tawakkul. I would always see her with an amazing smile on her face and hope in her heart, and I promised myself to keep making duaa in my pregnancy that Allah grant her a beautiful bundle of joy that would be her absolute happiness too. She really did deserve it.
I eyed the message that Hamzah had just sent, wanting to reply, but also knowing that the nect few days would be so hectic that I probably wouldn’t get to meet him properly unless he came to stay over.
The thing was, no matter what he said, I knew that he was still hurt about the Faadil issue. I had confessed and he had accepted, but I mean, why else would he still be holding back if it didn’t bug him?
I hated that it was something that would probably stay with him for life, but I also knew that in the moments that we spent together, there were times when he would leave the apartment and have that look on his face like it was the last thing in the world that he wanted to do.
I wanted to ask him if it wasn’t time for him to come home for good. I knew that things were still settling and the chain fiasco was a hard hit, but I missed him and I wished that he would put everything behind us once and for all.
I watched people milling about around me, spotting some friends and knowing that I should go and greet them, but feeling Zaid’s body still meant that he was actually falling asleep I this madness. Maahira had been so busy being a bride and had finally settled to apply her mendhi, and I watched her from where I sat, not believing that this girl was my friend who was actually finally getting married.
I looked at my phone for a few seconds before typing back.
I miss you too. How are you?
I wasn’t sure if I had ever said that to Hamzah before but I sucked up my pride because acting hard to get wasn’t exactly a way to win over my husband who was probably already insecure about my past. Sometimes I wanted to kick myself for being so stupid. For not showing him how much I loved him. For getting myself into a tough situation. For falling for Faadil in a most unlikely way.
And of course it was possible that Hamzah had second thoughts about us because of all the speed bumps we’d been through. He probably reasoned with himself, trying to figure out if we would work. Multiple times.
He had probably given up and reinvested in our future so many times, just like I had. But contrary to what Rabia wanted me to believe, I didn’t think that we were a complete dead loss.
I did believe that if Hamzah had, he wouldn’t have been even reaching out to me tonight in such an affectionate way. I was almost fully convinced that I’d won my husband back and come to some kind of resolution, until my phone buzzed again and I saw his next message .
Been waiting for your response. I know you wanted to stay with Maahira till late, but can I fetch you for a bit in between? there’s something that I really need to chat to you about.
Mission Sunnah Revival: Sunnah of Giving Sadaqah
Sadaqah is a voluntary act of charity that is given for the sole purpose of pleasing Allah (swt) and without expecting anything in return. In Arabic the word Sadaqah literally means righteousness and stems from the word ‘sidq’, which means sincerity. This suggests that Sadaqah is a righteous behaviour, which shows sincerity of faith. It is also a means of preventing imminent calamity, and we are urged to give it out often to protect ourselves.
Someone asked Ali (RA): “How much was the Sahaba’s love for the Prophet (Sallalahu Alaihi wa Sallam)”
He replied: “By Allah! To us The Prophet (Sallalahu Alaihi wa Sallam) was dearer to us than our riches our children and our mothers, and was more cherishable than a drink of water at the time of severest thirst.”
SubhaanAllah… what perfect imaan they had… May Allah enable us to practise..💕
#RevivetheSunnah
#RevivetheSunnahofbeingGrateful
#RevivetheSunnahofQur’aanTilaawat
#ReviveSunnahofDuaa
#SunnahofMaintainingTies
#RevivetheSunnahofSadaqah
#RevivetheSunnahofGivingGifts
#RevivetheSunnahofGoodAkhlaaq
#RevivetheSunnahbeforeSleeping
#RevivetheSunnahofGuardingtheGaze
#RevivetheSunnahofLickingtheFingers
#RevivetheSunnahofMiswaak
#RevivetheSunnahofEnteringtheToilet
#RevivetheSunnahofSpeakingGood
#RevivetheSunnahofEntertaining guests
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