When Responsibility Calls

Bismihi Ta’ala

Zuleikha

Responsibility. It really is a mouthful isn’t it? Not just to pronounce… but a helluva lot to digest too.

Responsibility doesn’t end. Once you get past the curfews and the glasses and the braces… the responsibility doesn’t go away. Either someone makes us face it or we are forced to suffer the consequences.

I once had a friend that used to make breaks for me. All the time. She would lie to the lecturers for me. She would hide my whereabouts from the nosy girls who wanted to interfere in my business. She had even distracted my father when he came to campus once (can you believe it?) to check on me.

She was the one who bunked lectures with me to go to movies or lunch or just to be daring and play some forbidden game of cards that was the popular hobby at the cafeteria.

At that time, she was the best friend I could have asked for. Someone who stuck by me, became my bosom bunking pal and got me out of trouble at all the right times. She was a needle in the hay stack. She was really fun too. When she had to leave because of bad grades and restricted finances, I was heartbroken. And of course, it was all in the plan Allah had for me… because someone to cover my back when I was getting out of control was never going to turn out well.

I often wondered about that friend that I had. We had lost contact over the years, and though in retrospect, I still saw her as a loyal friend… what I didn’t comprehend  was why she never told me to stop my messing around and get my act together. She wasn’t a bad girl but she never tried to guide me. Sometimes I wondered in those days of ignorance…. if I had a little guidance.. maybe I might have been better off.

But thats when I came to know the meaning of a responsibility, and a righteous friend. Friendship is not only a social construct… but a religiously significant relationship. The best ones are the ones that bring us closer to Allah. A righteous friend is the one we should aim for. Loyalty is an amazing character trait but the action of forbidding evil and enjoining good has a completely different appeal… and always triumphs, even in the long run. It was only when I met my dear friend Zaynah, that I realized what was truly worth having in a friend.

And it was only then that I saw the truth of friendship and responsibility. Although friends are supposed to be a guidance too… We can’t blame anyone else for our own downfalls. We make the decisions. We have to accept responsibility. We have to realize that maybe the only person really responsible for everything we were going through, was ourselves…

And right then, as I looked at my brother, I knew someone would have to take responsibility here.

“Will you tell me what happened?” I asked, because I couldn’t stand him looking at me with that emptiness that he always did. Like the world owes him something.

“Khawlah is devastated,” I continued as he looked at me blankly.  “She’s going through hell with her mother-in-law… and now, this is just making it all worse. Rubeena just told them she’s asked for a divorce.”

It had been a huge and unexpected event at her mother-in-laws place the previous night and I was absolutely appalled that Ahmed’s name had come in. I didn’t want to make any accusations but the odds were completely against him.

”I did nothing,” Ahmed growled. “All I did was answer my phone.”

”So you never called her?” I asked, crossing my arms and raising my eyebrows. “Not even once?”

Ahmed looked away guiltily and I sighed.

”But Khawlah said she warned you!” I suddenly snapped, trying to make him see reason. “She told you to stay away from her. She’s a married woman for goodness sake! Didn’t you know that?”

”If she acted like a married woman,” he muttered. “Then I would have believed it.”

I narrowed my eyes at him.

All these months, I thought Ahmed was busy with his finance course. I was happy that he was getting his act together, getting with the right people and finding some focus in life. If this was true it was going to ruin us all…

“What if it was me?” I asked him suddenly,  itching to get some sort of reaction out of him. “What if it was me who someone was speaking to? What would you have done to that guy?”

”I would have probably killed him,” Ahmed said, shrugging his shoulders.

“Exactly!”

“But then again, if you had a husband like hers who was still up to crap…”

I closed my eyes and shook my head. That was not the answer I wanted.

“Listen,” he said, his face hard as he looked at me. “When your husband was messing around, I rattled him to show him that I didn’t like it. He got his stuff together. Fast. Yes, Shabeer is an idiot, but all Rubeena said was she wants a divorce. I told Khawlah to leave me alone and I’ll tell you the same. What you guys all on about?”

”The problem is,” I said through gritted teeth. “You have become the reason for her asking for a divorce. You need to stop talking to her. Right now!”

Ahmed shrugged, not giving much away. He didn’t refute my accusation. That could only mean that he was speaking to her, right?

“I’m serious,” I warned him. “This is not a joke.”

“Alryt,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Whatever you say, Mummy.”

I wanted to twist his ear. He wasn’t even giving me proper answers. He was treating it like a joke. He didn’t realize the seriousness of the situation. She was married with four kids. Leave alone the age gap that was more than ten years…

Gosh. Did he even know what he was getting himself into? Maybe he just wanted me to think that something was going on. My brother was always a little crazy.

I googled the Hadith on my phone, about the man who came to the Prophet (SAW), requesting permission to commit Zinaa. I promptly sent it to him, not just to rattle him up a bit… but in the hope that Allah would purify his heart, if there were ever any evil intentions…

Abu Umama Al-Bahily (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that a young man came to the Prophet (SAW) and said:

‘O Messenger of Allah (SAW), give me a permission to commit  Zina.’

The Companions turned to him and started rebuking him. The Prophet (SAW) said: “Come closer.“

When the young man drew nearer to the Prophet (SAW) and sat down, the Prophet (SAW) asked him: “Would you like it for your mother?“

The man answered; No, by Allah. May Allah make me a protection for you!

The Prophet (SAW) commented, “People also do not like it for their mothers.” The Prophet added, “Would you like it for your daughter?“

Again, the young man answered negatively. So, the Prophet (SAW) said, “People too would not love it for their daughters“

Further, the Prophet (SAW) asked, “Would you like it for your sister?” The Prophet received the same answer and made the same comment. The Prophet went on asking about the man’s paternal and maternal aunts. The young man’s answer was the same and the Prophet (SAW) repeated the same comment, “People do not like that for their aunts.“

The Prophet (SAW) then placed his hand on the young man and prayed for him, “O Allah, forgive his sins, purify his heart, and protect his chastity.“

Abu Umamah, the narrator of the hadith, said that the young man did not pay heed to any temptation thereafter. (Authenticated by Al-Albani)

And I really wanted to lecture him relentlessly, but the thing is, I knew it would just make Ahmed rebellious. I had to be patient and understanding too… gentle like the Prophet (SAW) had been when the man suggested even the most atrocious of acts.

And as it happens, I actually didn’t need to do much rattling because just as I was about to open my mouth, there was a tap on the door before my dear Khawlah pushed it open.

I looked at my sister, and I couldn’t help but notice that for the first time in months, her face was drawn and grim. The glow that marriage had brought for her had been diminished. I could see her looking from Ahmed to me in expectation.  I only hoped that this hadn’t caused any problems between her and Aadam. That would be terrible. My sister did look like she had been crying…

”How are you, Khawlah?” I asked kindly, moving aside so she could sit next to me. The was a shadow of a smile on her pretty face, but she remained standing as she watched us, almost as if she was waiting for Ahmed to say something.

Ahmed looked away and ignored her. I guessed that there had been some words between them that weren’t very pleasant. My heart ached to see the trouble that this had caused.

“Can you talk some sense into him please?” She said finally, closing her eyes and inhaling, as if the whole world was on her shoulders.

“Did your mother-in-law say how she had found out about them?” I asked carefully, still wondering how contact between Ahmed and Rubeena had gotten to her ears.

Khawlah shrugged.

“I think someone called her,” Khawlah said. “Maybe Hannah. Sounds like something she would do.”

Or maybe Aunty Nas, upset that everything seemed to be working out for Khawlah and not Hannah. Aunty Nas always had an exceptionally mean streak when it come to Khawlah. Lucky Khawlah was tough… but I think that pushed Aunty Nas more to do the things she did. At the time it was just so heartbreaking to see my little sister put up with that. She was so strong.

“Which reminds me… I need to go and see Hannah,” she said quietly. “I’ve just got so much on my head right now… My in-laws are freaking about Rubeena. I have exams coming up and I can barely concentrate…”

It was strange to see my sister so worked up. So upset. I wished I could take her into my arms, and tell her it would all be okay. I wished that this hadn’t blown out of proportion the way it did.

Ahmed didn’t say a thing. He just looked like his usual unemotional self as he looked back at us…

“Shabeer gave one Talaaq yesterday,” Khawlah said finally, looking upset. I couldn’t help but notice Ahmed’s expression change. “My mother-in-law has gone into depression. She’s not even talking to Aadam, because she thinks he’s in favor of you guys or whatever is happening. Aadam knew nothing…”

I swallowed. He actually gave the divorce? 

”Shit man,” Ahmed said, shaking his head and beginning to pace. Finally some reaction. At least now he realized how serious it was. “This woman’s making my life hell!”

“This woman?!” Khawlah retorted angrily, and I could see her step forward as she pointed a finger threateningly. “Please Ahmed, don’t act so innocent! You obviously led her on! She’s got four kids! Are you ready to take that on? You’re barely even an adult yourself, for goodness sake!”

”How the hell did I lead her on?!” He shouted back. “Do you have any proof? You can’t just go around accusing people of things. You just all cut up about Khalid so you can’t think straight… as usual. Does Aadam even know?”

I wanted to cover my eyes and block my ears. These two were really going for it. Both were being unreasonable. It had been years since I saw them fighting like this.

”Oh shut up!” Khawlah spat at him, and I could see the tears filling her eyes as she blinked angrily. “This has nothing to do with Khalid. Don’t turn the tables around and make it about me!”

”Get over yourself, goodie-two-shoes,” Ahmed growled at her. “You don’t own Rubeena. I can talk to who I want to.”

”Well, that’s where you wrong!” Khawlah screamed back at him. “You can’t just do what you feel! It’s a sin! You have to be accountable-“

”Will both of you just STOP?!” I bellowed, cutting her off and knowing that this was going to cause a huge rift between them if they continued like this. It probably already did.

I could see Yunus standing in the doorway, looking a bit shocked. Thankfully Dada was asleep. How he slept through all of this was a mystery in itself.

“Don’t you’ll see what you’ll are doing?!” I asked them, looking at them angrily. “Someone is trying to cause problems and you’ll are letting them. Can’t we just talk this through? Khawlah, please calm down. Ahmed, can you please just sort it out?”

This was getting bad. The two of them were literally at each other’s throats and I was right here in the middle of it. I knew Ahmed would never hurt Khawlah but he was getting really angry. As for the issue of Khalid… I meant to ask my sister but I never got around to doing it. I figured it was a sensitive topic but I knew that Khawlah would never hide anything important from Aadam.

I could see Ahmed’s shoulders heaving and his furrowed brow deepening as he glared at her. It was pretty scary… but Khawlah was glaring right back. They were both relentless. Two of a kind.

As for Ahmed, I knew he liked to wind people up to get a reaction. Whether he was saying all that stuff about Khalid and  Rubeena for attention was another story altogether…

”Please Ahmed,” I begged, trying to get through to my stubborn brother. “Can you just stop this nonsense?”

”Zuleikha, I swear I didn’t!” Ahmed said, his amber eyes full of  fury. “I met her once. I gave her some documents. It was a public place. All I said was I’ll help her to speak to the guys who were after her idiotic husband. It never went farther than that…”

He looked away and I couldn’t tell if he had spoken the truth. Was he just covering his tracks? Why was Khawlah so convinced about something more going on? Was there something that she knew that she wasn’t saying.

My brother and sister had a relationship where they would tell each other whatever they needed to with no reservations… but I also had a feeling they both knew secrets about each other that no-one else did.

I sighed while Khawlah stood at the door and scowled. She finally turned her back and left.

Such a huge, unimaginable mess. Obviously someone had seen the two of them together and it had gotten to the wrong ears. Or maybe someone was trying really hard to make Rubeena seem like a loose woman…

“You need to get some advice,” I said, trying to think straight. He needed to get into contact with his Maulana again. He needed to refocus his life. Maybe make another trip away from home, to get away from this.

I blinked as Ahmed threw on a Kurta next to me, and started putting on his shoes as if he was suddenly in a hurry. It was like something had suddenly been ignited in him, as he got ready to leave. I had a feeling that he was finally going to take responsibility for this… but I wasn’t sure if I would like what it had to bring.

“Ahmed, what are you doing?” I asked, a little confused. Where exactly was he going right now? 

“What do you think?” he said, looking at me in frustration. “You told me what I must do, didn’t you? I’m going to sort this out once and for all… and you’re coming with me.”

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Dear readers, 

 

A little bit of drama but we are getting to calmer parts soon… 

Shukran to all for reading

Much Love, 

A 🌸 

Beloved Nabi (SAW) has said:

“The person who perfectly maintains the ties of kinship is not the one who does it because he gets recompensed by his relatives (for being kind and good to them), but the one who truly maintains the bonds of kinship is the one who persists in doing so even though the latter has severed the ties of kinship with him“. [Al-Bukhari].

May Allah Ta’ala enable us to rekindle any ties of kingship that may have been severed. It is truly a great reward and Sunnah.

 

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